<:+REveRSe HAveN+:>

2005-02-22T07:54:00.000-08:00

Sianx.. today econs test........ ok lar.. good thing its MCQ.. I jus anyhow do lorhhh... =P

Woah.. looks like i'm not the only one who's not serious about the test.. xiao ji ji slping.. hhaa.. henry (right behind.) was so on for the test...

arhgs.. buay ta han liao.. I wan go home!!! ponning sch.. .jus a few steps to freedom.......

YAYX! freedom!! haha.. go home lerhhh..!

Mr Hee and his girl-friends.. again...

nice artistic pic I took in church.. whaddya thinkg? actually, it looks nicer live than here..

Well, this was the pic taken again.. wasn't so nice.. arhgs...

Anyway, I was at home after that... then i went to sleep.. haha...woke up only in the evening... heee...

won't be posting pics for awhile...

2005-02-12T03:06:00.000-08:00

Feeling:tired, a lil' satisfied..

Well, I spent 2 hours cleaning up my room.. The satisfaction I had really exceeds anything I ever had receiving good results... All my 'post-war' stuff half-cleared... I haven't cleared my room since october last year, and rubble from the O lvls had been piling ever since. My table was totally out... Hmm.. I do hope that I can restore my table lamp soon. It broke whilst I was vacuuming. Come to think of it, I've not had any proper place to do my homework. Actually, I've been doing my homework with little bits and scraps of time here and there.

Well, its time I did some touch-up on my blog too. But until I did that, and until i've finished clearing the trash in my palm and d-drive, i'll probably not be posting pics here. However, a pic really does explain many more things.. hmm? its just a matter of how I manage to change my blog to suit it. :) Don't worry. the photoblog will come back soon!

Anyway, i've got some other things to do... i'll get back to put more stuff into this blog..

Oh yeah... haixx... I can't wait to show you guys my target card from shooting club... too bad i can't post photos here now... ARGS! well my first shooting practice, i used up 4 target cards. The first one was good, just as good as my trial card--all five shots in the black. However, in the second card, i missed quite a lot of shots-6/10 (meaning missed the black portion...). Third card i only had 3 shots in the black, last card i had only 2 shots in the black. One shot totally misfired from the card. Wow... well, gotta go train up some more.. It seems my hand cannot stand holding the pistol too long... I lost my mental focus somewhere in the middle. That's when i kept missing my shots.

S.H.I.T.

2005-02-11T23:34:00.000-08:00

From: D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.
To: YOU
Subject: Special High Intensivity Teaching.
Sent: Saturday, February 12, 2005 7:08:25 AM

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Disclaimer: |
Found this Somewhere. Darn Funny. |
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Although Full Of S.H.I.T. Enjoy the S.H.I.T. |
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In order to assure the highest levels of
quality work and productivity from students, it
will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL
HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We
are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T.
than anyone else. If you feel that you do not
receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course,
please see your lecturer. You will be
immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can
handle. Students who don't take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P . S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.
S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T.
before they graduated, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T.
already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be
interested in a job teaching others. We can
add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.). For students who are intending to
pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
This course emphasizes how to manage
M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further
questions, please direct them to our HEAD
OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.). Thank you, BOSS
IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.) PS. Now send
this S.H.I.T. to 5 or more people who need
S.H.I.T. in their lif e, just not the same person
who sen t you this S.H.I.T., they have already
had their fill of S.H.I.T. Thank You for your time.

Sincerely, The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching.

(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

Siannxx!!

2005-02-10T16:58:00.001-08:00

Feeling: Sian...

Well, my family finished visiting all our relatives yesterday.. Went to my Maternal grandparents' house with some of my paternal relatives for breakfast. We were the first to reach. Then after that, we went to my Paternal Grandfather's house for lunch.

Din really have the mood to take any pics. Anyway, there was a touching show on tv. I was watching until the part when the big brother tried to let his siblings escape (blah blah.. i don't suppose you know what I'm talking about right? nah.. who cares..) Anyway, I watched until the suspense part, then we had to go off to visit my distant cousins. We went along with my cousins, uncles and aunts from the maternal side. After which, we went on to our older cousins' house. Wow, my aunt really is a good house designer... Within one year the house almost totally changed around. The house is so nicely done up.. hmm..

finally, Our little cousins came along to our house for a short snack, where I hid (and sent my little cousins scurrying all over the house, looking for me). David was playing jedi academy, and we managed to get a nice screenshot.. whoa.. When we were done, we went back to the maternal grandparents' place for dinner. haha.. we were first to be there, last to leave there.. lol

Well, that was yesterday.. Today is total siancity. Woke up at 10 (errgh.. time wasted..) then slept again after lunch till 3. (time wasted again...) shoulda done at least some of my math hw.. Sian.. Tml school again. but anyway, i think there's band.. Hmm.. at least ......... (haaahaa.. i shan't say..) *grinz* waiting in anticipation...

well, looking for stuff to do. Perhaps I should continue playing jedi academy... harghs!

Well, finally, I found out the anonymous tagger on my tagboard is Jieshiong. I don't suppose anyone here visting my blog besides samuel goh would know him. Well, Jieshiong, I barely even know you. I don't even have any personal dispute with you. But I don't understand why you have to come here to deface my tagboard and cause all those problems. If you have a personal dispute with me, If I have offended you in any personal way(that is reasonable enough), look me up. You know how. Don't be the coward here posting anonymous comments with offensive content. I'm not the only one offended by this gesture. I'm here appealing to you to stop this childish and cowardly gesture. If you are truly offended with me over something, settle with me face to face. Otherwise, stop this childish and cowardly act. You may continue, of course. i need not mention how badly it will reflect on your character, if you do continue.

debate.....

2005-02-06T23:33:00.000-08:00

feeling: happpyyyy!!!

My first debate I ever won.. Well, here are some pics I took. Too bad I din take any picz of the room..

Well, for the debate, we were up against MI. Well, I guess we won not because of merit, but because they were lousier than us... Hmm.. Sometimes I just wish to improve my debate skill, but i'm simply not cut out for rebuttals. In a debate, perhaps a first speaker position is best for me...

Well, here are some pics i took.. in the past week..

Ok larh.. ly, your phone better than mine larhh!

meow!

a rare peek into the student council command centre.

Hail the master-debators!!

ear waxxxzzz!! haha.. perhaps only the debators will know what this is.. lol

Mr goon. Welcome back. We misssssed you! (wow.. that's so...matrix revolutions...)

Mr owyong...

wow.. their dragon..... compared to our 'chicken...' wow...

Well, I guess that's all for now.. i'm still looking for the perfect solution for this.. I'm looking for a way to seperate the words and pics part..

tiredddd...

2005-02-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

feeling:tired...

Well, i guess i'll jus give a short summary.. We won at the invitationals; the debate at NYJC.. Haha! that was my first debate...

Well, sorry to disappoint you, folks. Photos tomorrow. I'm too tired tonight to upload themmm...

:)

haa..

2005-02-02T23:09:00.000-08:00

feeling:excited...

I'm here posting for two days.. I fell asleep yesterday before I could post... Anyway, I got the hp leung yu lent me.. and that means i'm gonna post lotsa pics.. haha...

my first pic that I took...

anyway, during phy lecture ytd, leung yu was sleeping.. as usual.. haha..

zzzzzzz.......

well, my regained respect for Mr Owyong. He's actually one of the rare teachers nowadays who encourage thinking from students. here's evidence: he tells students to do work on the board;

But WAIT! he even asks them to explain too! this is good training for vivacity, where presentation is a vital skill. Here's Yijie explaining his question to the class.

Anyway, enuf for yesterday.. Today came to sch, saw Shiyun and SQ so hardworking.....

Then I took a surpirse shot of isaac during phy.. haha.. this is our lecture hall btw..

Phy lecture was taken by a female lecturer.. i conclude hence that female phy teachers are LOUSY!!!
Ehh.. hehee.. i picked up Leung Yu's bad habit of photographing just about anything I see.................

Wanna know just how geek and idiot and neow our Chinese teacher is? he forced us to sing a song some weeks ago. now, barely having let us hear the song about 5 times or so thus far (throughout our time here...) we were supposed to have memorised everything. Capricious, huh? so people like me (who take twice the time to read any chinese passage, compared to other ppl) were having a hard time trying to memorise the stuff... We begged him to play the music while we did the sheet, so that at least we can hear how the word sounds like. After much hesitation, he decided to play it. But the very next thing he did totally made me lose taste for doing the sheet any further. Each time the song reached a word, he would blank it out. DAMMIT!! NOT EVEN GIVING WEAK STUDENTS LIKE ME TO CATCH UP!!!! Now chinese is on the list of most hated subjects. All thanks to him. I never want to touch chinese as a subject for the rest of my life. NEVER!!

He has failed in his role as 'educator'. Instead of teaching the student, he tells. instead of cultivating interest of the student in the subject, he totally makes students like me cultivate a strong distaste for the subject. well, here he is.

GP was totally too sick to talk about. The GP tutor (Ms Ng) is a total bit**... nothing more to say. The gals working in my team..... a few of them were chio, but as I suspected, their beauty was only skin deep. They were totally gossiping amongst themselves, about every little detail about everyone. come on larh.. I was at the whiteboard and you think I can't hear what you are talking about?! heck! my sense of hearing may not be keen as a dog's but I can hear many things that other people don't. For example, the difference in tuning.

Well, then there's debate. oh yeah, Akesh. he's totally the 'i look down on you' kinda person. He steered clear of me as soon as he saw me in yuan ching uniform, right from day 1. Anyway, there are certain things that he's good too. Academically, he definitely excels more than me. Being a RI-an, it would be a disgrace to the uniform he wears, if he ends up getting a lower score than me in anything academic. That doesnt stop there. He's a good debator, with lotsa experience. Well, can't be helped. in YCS, we don't have much exp, much as we would like to. Well, generally, a person I strongly dislike, but with this newfound mentality I have, I have decided to try not to make enemies with him. Who knows? he might become my client one day. There and then, this 'friendship' we form here might just end up helping me later on! a word of advice from someone I remember, "gather what you find before you cross the river."

Well, this is my first time trying to transform this into a semi-photoblog. Would this be preferred? or do you think its better if I put pictures in a new window in my blog instead? Anyway, put your opinion in my tagboard. doing it this way duzn really suit my style, but I would just like to know your opinions..

tireddszzz...

2005-01-31T21:33:00.000-08:00

feeling:tired...
Listening to:All you wanted(Michelle Branch)

Well, i guess i'll blog every consecutive day instead now.. I don't think I have the energy to keep up daily blogging.. haaxxx....

Well, the chinese teacher today was a total jerk. I din wanna copy from the transparency the answer cuz my eyes were feeling strained. Then he came over and asked me what I was doing... I tried to explain, and perhaps might have offended him with slight inappropriate misuse of language (like come on, I was desperate to portray my thoughts and put it into words then..... in a language I dread......) I tried to explain that I would copy from SQ when he's done. Man the teacher's such a jerk. Nag, nag nag.. fine.. fine.. I copy. Fine. I don't lose anythign by pretending anyway. So much for being honest and explanatory.

Physics (early in the morning) we were like, playing in class. Mr Phang wasn't here again. Then, a shuai ge teacher came in.. woo.. And somehow, we found him so much a better teacher. He explained things so clearly that nobody could possibly not understand.. appreaciate that...

Math was quite ok. I opened up to Mr Owyong a little during the toilet break, when I exclaimed that En Hua is the 'do not sleep' master. Since it was the last lesson of the day, ppl were practically falling asleep..

PC-games time..... was a total waste of time, as usual. We went there at 3.30, only to be told we were actually scheduled at 4.30. DARGH! that means we have to wait an extra hour?! what the hell. The teacher Ms Choo or Ms Joo(not sure) was like "We cannot handle too many classes at once..." wat the heck. Its not like, you all are going to teach a full-blown lesson. Like heck, we just run two rounds, and the rest of hte time is up to us already.

Well, I do hope that we can get that same time slot again next week... Either that, or perhaps we should find time as a class to ask that teacher to reschedule us...

Anyway, went for debate after that.. Hmm.. Kinda impressed by that kinda hard work that Arkesh put in. Yah, he was a snob, a jerk sometimes... Anyway, in a way, sometimes still a pleasant person to work with. We discussed the china stuff. i was quite quiet cus that really wasn't in my field of knowledge. Anyway, I tried to contribute as much as I can. Sometimes, I really wonder how I can elevate my state of mind to something like Arkesh's. not saying that I admire him or anything, but honestly, pondering on matters of psychology and neurology.. I was just wondering.... How you stimulate the mind to perform at higher standards of efficiency.

Perhaps there's a psychological techique. one which enables one to tweak his mind to process higher amounts of information in shorter amounts of time. That's one thing I need seriously during a debates. I fear one thing now:getting into debate. Altho i wanted so badly to get into that debate team, but I really am wondering if my mind will be quick enough to provide counter-arguments for the opponent points of information. Considering that I'm already stumbling while trying to prepare proper rebuttals for my 3rd spkr position during my debates last year.

Haahh.. I think i've overdedicated myself. Shooting, band....

Perhaps I pursued shooting with pure intention. Band? I pursued it for two reasons. One is because of her. One is because I wanna hone my skill in the flute. (wasn't so pure an intention after all, huh?).. Ok, debate, I pursued it partly cuz I wanted to hone my debate skills. Partly because I knew it would ultimately benefit my GP. Only shooting i joined with pure interest.

Sighs.. This week's gonna be crazy.... Let's just see how things unfold. Whether or not I end up in the team....remains largely to be seen. As far as I know, Jeryl, Akesh, Priya and Samantha are definitely going in. The last position remains between me and En Hua. Well, he makes a better speaker than me... I guess if the time comes when its the decision between me and him... I think I might just give it up for him....

Oh dear... i'm broke.. left 10 cents. lucky tml is feb. i'm getting next month's money.. haa!

worry...

2005-01-30T11:16:00.000-08:00

feeling:worried..

Today is sunday.. Not much. Went to church early for BS.. Studied on 1Cor 8 and 9. This is about eating of food offered to idols. However, Paul took 3 chapters to explain this one thing about Christian liberty, and drew many principles from it. From the Bible passages, some things make me wonder what paul would be like if he were a 21st century debator. He would probably be a very good debator...

Hmm.. Today's my Grandad's 76th birthday. Wow.. well, I was playing a bit with my baby cousins, and daniel was a little cute with his 'biaoge i wan bao bao'. so i teased him.. haha.. little did he know i was recording him.. hahaa.

Hmm.. Came home and started using the com. But after awhile, my nose started bleeding. This time, the bleed was almost unstoppable. The pool of blood that ended up in the sink really did scare me. AFter I failed to stop the bleed, I desperately went to my mum. oh dear. I do hope this does not develop into some medical condition like nose cancer. Perhaps I've been straining my body too much lately..

I got the bleed again while watching jurassic park:the lost world. Hmm.. The bleeds starting to get more and more frequent. Sometimes i'm awoken at nearing 6am because my nose starts bleeding again. And funny thing is that, only the right nostril bleeds. The left nostril has never bled before in my life.. hmm.. Let's just hope there's no tumourous lump growing there...

Well, keene sent me naruto Ep44.. YAYYY!! can watch ler...!!! hmm.. wanna try sth mischievous.. I wanna convert it to .knm and play it on my palm in school.. AHAAA!!!
Too bad the smart movie player duzn work for my palm. Sorry, Leung Yu...

unhappy :(.... someone hug me pls......

2005-01-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

feeling:unhappy....duh......

Ok lar.. today band practice lor.. They said at 8.. I thought i was late, so i ran all the way. Turns out, I was early!..... wow.. Well, I was jus sitting there like some idiot until my senior asked me to take a flute... (huh? oh yeah.. I din know she was there too.. haha.... or I would have taken the initiative to ask her..)

Hmm.. okay... But I took that time to look thro the last page of persis.. and hey!! I managed to clean it up a little. Altho i still canot play the whole thing in tempo. haix.. sadded....rusty liaox.....

But the most sadded thing is......haix.... i wish SHE din ask if it were her.... it just feels so...cold between us now.. Barely got chance to talk to her at all,......sighs.... sadded.......someone hug me pls..............................................

Anyway, ended prac at 12.. i went straight home.. nth much.. i miss my pokemon.....lol.. kidding lar..

slpy.. gonna slpppppp.... nitez....

HAHAXX

2005-01-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

feeling: a lil' blue.. a lil' happy.. haxx..

Well, First things first.. I got into shooting... Well, Isaac was more pro than me.. He got into pistol AND rifle (Heck, he's the only guy who got into both!!) Well, We skipped mass dance. Nothing much...

In math, i guess I did regain a lil' bit of respect for Mr Owyong.. Well, I suppose at that time he didn't understand the situation enuf, and started nagging me.. perhaps his teaching method of asking students to present their argument on their method really did regain a lil bit of my respect for him. After all, he's one of the rare few teachers who teach math like Mrs Shelia Philip.. Well, speaking of her, I found a friend of priya, who has another friend who happens to be Mrs Philip's daughter.. whoa.. Well, I sent her my regards...

Anyway, that was that. Math, then econs, then GP. Mr Goon was as funny as ever. I drew a small lil' portrait of Mr Goon in my palm and sent to Leung Yu for fun.. haha... But after GP, I was totally jus bored.. At first i went to play badminton with Varuun and a few others.. After playing for awhile, i began to feel the heat (cuz its stuffy tehre, and lotsa ppl too... So I went down to eat.

Anway the exciting part comes during band... We got to play persis!! My dream come true.. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. I'm totally not up to scratch. The running notes on the last page, i totally jus faked them during the initial round. ok lar, i did still retain a small measure of integrity, but i missed quite a few of the accidentals. I guess I wasn't the strongest player there. I might know the vibrato. So what? I was totally way way way behind two of the others. behind wei long or whatever his name is. Behind that nanyang girl.. haven't quite got her name either....

Well, the piccoloist is starion.. wierd name (i've heard wierder, like garrison and goliath..) Well, can't blame his straight playing, since he's only got one year exp behind him... However, i'm not much better myself. At least he can play straight notes and run on them. I can't do the running properly in persis.. Haixxx...

Persis as played by JJ band is ok. Precise, altho slowing down at times. however, it lacks two main aspects, much to my disappointment... It lacks bass support, cross-listening, and finally, it just lacks that lil' bit of secret formula.. that clarity of parts, that lil' bit of feeling that adds the ultimate punch to the piece.. Lacks expression. Everything is so straight. So predictable. I hate that... Yes, they might have played everything right.. But they lack the most important thing-expression;feeling... I guess i don't have much more to complain about. I'm not up to scratch myself... vibrato or no vibrato...

I went home feeling rather blue.. okay.. was with Henry and co... I faked a smile.. I just.....kept my feelings out of reach.. but inside i was feeling terrible.. perhaps its because this is the first time i've ever been in a band where i'm not the best flautist around. Thinking back, in CCK, everything was going so well. I was improving so rapidly that there came a time when I even surpassed my seniors. (or so, I felt.)I never really did surpass Anneson. Anyway, Starion reminds me of Anneson... the lil' bit of gay-likeness......ok lar.. dun mean to insult him lar.. they are both perfectly male.. just that they would probably be the last to be 'lean mean fighting machines' should the need arise..

Well, I missed a lot back then. My development in the flute totally halted as soon as Mr Chew left CCK due to personal reasons.. He actually scheduled his friend to take over, but.....it didn't happen.....Well, during the time Mr Ong was around, my standard dipped sharply in the wake of not having all that technique exercises... It dipped even more during my 2-year stay at YCS band. My training and all was totally undone there. Good habits that were formed (like sitting with correct posture) were torn asunder there... by old, naggy, saggy, laggy mr tan....

Sighs.. But I can't sit here and self-pity... I feel I've got to prove myself... I've almost lost my passion for music in the past two years in YCS band... I guess I'm here to regain it.. I feel that I've got to prove myself... to prove myself capable of improving rapidly under right conditions. Prove myself a quick learner.. I don't know....

Anyway, The shooting practice conflicts with band... on fri... I don't wanna be guai lan and tell them that i dun wanna join....after all that difficulty.. after all that hitting the centre.. I really wanna go start on shooting now.. Perhaps my gun can be my best friend..

Anyway, I've cleaned up the rollerblade ball bearings. I just went for a run. Quite smooth.. Just that it was a lil' squeaky, cuz there wasn't any oil. I don't know where to get the oil, but i'll get the oil when I do. I need it badly. Well, if I could, I would get new beaerings altogether... those with removable shields... sealed shields may become dented after some time..

Sighs.. not in very much of a good mood. While something to celebrate would be my entrance to the shooting club (and isaac's too..)......but something to mourn would be my impaled mastery of the flute.. It's fallen so far short of that standard of perfection...I guess i'll end here...

Haaaxxx!!

2005-01-27T23:58:00.000-08:00

Feeling: sian.. this is the third time i'm typin this entry.. com siao siao...

Well, phy prac lesson was rather boring. i was slping when the teacher was explaining. its about a pendulum suspended on two strings.. I was pondering during O lvls how convenient this setup will be... well, anyway, i was spending my time disturbing samuel and varrun, and playing ard with the microsoft excel in my palm instead of recording readings and plotting the graph... I kept distracting varrun while he was counting by asking him whether he wanted to eat prata later.. When tat failed to work, i counted with him, and then purposely counted another number to confuse him...

Leung yu kept referring to himself as 'swiss cottage' and me as 'yuan ching'.. Then he kept saying things like "see? swiss cottage so fast. Not like yuan ching, playing with his palm.." he finished within half an hour and started playing you see.. then later, he borrowed my math from me (oh no.. he went home with it later on.. supposed to hand up today...) and said "yuan ching so clever. Swiss cottage wants to borrow math from yuan ching"... haha.. he was being lame..

Anyway, we went for prata later on. Sq and IZ joined me in the canteen. I blew my budget, but who cares? Well, we headed for GP lesson right after that.. Mr Goon was rather comical. in his own right..He went thro the notes, then he said, "lets see if anyone does not know what's going on. CLEMENT LOW!! where's clement low?" i was like, what did i do wrong? anyway, i answered his questions to the point.. Looks like altho he's not mr houndart, he probably might make a good GP tutor.. Not like Ms Ng from yesterday.. haha...

Econs lecture was boring... Totally could not concentrate.. but i did manage to catch bits and pieces from SQ and mavis... I was constantly drawing on my notes, so i told mavis, "if i took econs at sec 2, my art would have passed with flying colours"(cuz my art at that time kept failing.)

Well, when the painful excruciating lecture was finally over, I skipped civics and went to send my palm for repair.. Cool.. A reconditioned palm!! Stupid me.. I forgot to go check out stadium. I heard that there were cheap rollerblade ball bearings being sold there.. Currently, some of my ball bearings jammed during the sentosa trip, cuz david and I din know that this would happen if we walked on the sand with rollerblades (dun worry david, I don't blame you.).. Well, my palm was like, siao siao.. now after i sent in for repair, the reconditioned one is almost as good as new... ALMOST...... There's still some bugging bugs in it that..... i will love to get rid of.....

Cool.. Tomorrow is debate.. and band... Oh boy.. how the heck am I supposed ta juggle.. I wish i can go for the debate tournament, but........ I think Mr Kong probably would try not to bother me, since I'm joining band... I think i shouldn't have told him what I did.. After all, the motion is coming out tomorrow.. Haixxx.... this is baaadddddd.....

I am a lil' excited tho.. Tml going to band.. And this is the first band i've ever been in that plays Persis... WHoa.. my fav.... Shooting results will be out. From what I heard from ShenHui, i think they might have to quarter the current ppl. Now there are 18 ppl who entered the second round. They'll probably only choose 5 ppl, since there are only a limited number of lanes in the shooting range.. After all, they have to choose another 5 from the second intake ppl.. so i stand a 1-in-4 chance to enter.. Lets hope i get in.. Shenhui told me they would count the trial card... hmmmm...(my trial card all 5 shots hit the black area.. Woot!!)

HAAAA!!!! i'm goin to slp......

WHAT?! no 3rd selection for shooting?!

2005-01-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

feeling:fine...

Huh? I checked the shooting board. No 3rd selection? die liao.. i think i'll be eliminated... because my actual card (see ytd post) i misfired 4 times, and i hit the borders of the black (inner) circle. sighs.. Altho my trial shots, i got all 6 shots into the black area....

Hmm.. GP Was so siaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn..... watched a lil bit of saving pte ryan, then we were supposed to say abit about what war was about. The teacher, Ms Ng totally treated us like some adolescents.. she might have been a better primary school teacher... But................... I guess that's why we call her 'Ms Ng' and not 'Mrs something' or 'Mdm something else'(catch my hint?)........

Well, we went thro some essay qns and took a whole lot of time doing it.... okay.. i must admit, i learnt something new about hinge words....

Chinese class we made some lantern, which we tried to make to look like some chicken.. Unfortunately, as you can see here, we..........didn't..........succceeedd..............

Here's Henry trying to touch-up our 'chicken'....(he must feel honoured to appear on both my and leung yu's blog....)

Haha.. the result was comical.. Anyway, our chinese teacher told the class rep to hang it up.. (lucky its not me......)

well, i was totally slacking during math and phy lectures today.. Going backwards, i went for a cuppa and a cheese toast at the cafe after math. Cost me quite a bit, but that was quite worth it. En hua was with me, and we realised after some time that we were late for phy. Luckily, we went in just about when it started (the teacher must've wasted quite a good deal of time...)

Hmmm.. Finally, i received the ski pic from Aunty Serena... Haha.. They din manage to get any pics of us coming down.. That was sadddd.. but at least, altho din get a pic of me in action skiing down the mt, but got a pic of myself in full gear.. hoho!!!

whoa.. shooting... whoa...

2005-01-25T04:44:00.000-08:00

feeling:excited

today was rahter ordinary. Did up my math in school. Math tutorial was totally boring, and i was jus doing my own stuff and minding my own business all the time. I was doing up the math homework, and i overlapped it into econs clas.. oops, sorry ms chin... i did math during your lessons.. haha...

Anyway, next up was phy lecture. WTH.. duno wat the heck was going on.. Mr Cornelius (CORNINESS) Chew took the lesson and went way, way, way too fast.. I was jus grappling the basics, and doign my math at the same time. I finished everything adn returned Varrun his paper...

then was civics class.. okay played some games, played charrades.. haha.. then went on for econs lecture. My my, Ms Chin might be a good tutor, but a lousy lecturer.. mann.. i totally din understand.. Haix.. looks like i gotta put a lil' more effort into understanding...

PC was siao. the gold n silver for sec 4 were separated from the rest o' the group. First, we were told to run around the track, going up the grandstand, and down again. We had to do this twice. That was tiring, but if you thought that was the worst, we had to run the track once again, but not before doing a whole lot of chin-ups. Every time the teacher blew his whistle, we had to do 10 push-ups. whoa........ then, we had a game of 'catching'. It was something like a relay race. One of us was put in front of the other. I paired up with zhengji. Then we were supposed to be in sitting position facing the opposite direction. First round, i failed to catch zhengji.. second round, Zhengji's turn to catch me. This time, the loser had to do 20 pushups. He didn't catch me, but i did the 20 pushups with him instead...

After PC, i went for the shooting trial, second round. My hand was already shaking like hell after the PC. the name on the board was "clement loo'. at first, i thougt it was the swiss clement who came to JJ. but i realised i coulda scribbled and made the 'low' look like a 'loo' Ended up, it was me.. ahaaa! the trial target card, i had all five shots in the black portion (10-7 pts).. that was a mean feat, considering that my hand was shaking like siao, then the black portion would look not more than 2cm in diameter from that distance. the gun was heavy too.. when i wheeled back hte trial card, the J2 shooter in charge of me went like "gasp!" I thougt it was because i took an extra shot, but i realised that she meant that i had all my shots in the black. However, my actual card was not as good. I had 6 shots in the black (one on the border of hte black and white), and four right at the border of the black. My hand was shaking like siao, and then i was taking hell of a long time to aim. I raised my hand and put down like, five or six times before i actualy shot. after my third shot, i actually took a break... Well, let's hope they look at the trial card as well..............

Here's a pic of the shooting range!! I'm in the last lane. pity Isaac din take a pic of me getting ready to shoot......

Hmm.. oh yeah.. one of isaac's 'girl-friends'.. wow!! hmm.. chio rite? (lets hope she duzn see this lol...)

cooled down.. Just a little. but still pissed

2005-01-25T00:33:00.000-08:00

feeling:just a little pissed......

well, i guess i'll jus talk a little about that RI guy.... Prakesh...

He was so damn funny. Coming in with that straight face and that little frown there. I suppose he will be one hard mind to break into... Anyway, I made my speech. Mr Kong gave me that look, and i really got rather frightened. However, he explaine later that he was trying out if i were to get thrown off, because sometimes, debate coaches might throw you some of those dirty glances to throw you off.. haaa.. relief...

Priya performed like expected in the previous one (she was before me) Next up was Prakesh, then En hua. The whole thing was very comical. He went, "good afternoon ladies and (pointing to priya) lady" En Hua got so totally pissed he started noting down everything prakesh said in his speech, and during his turn, he rebutted every single point, however, not as effectively because he's still amateur. however, i was pleasantly surprised by his ability to inject that infectuous humour that kept the four girls in front laughing nonstop. Anyway, when he was cross-questioned, he did provide some of his own insights, and at the end, he went up to prakesh and did that 'no hard feelings thing' by asking him to lighten up. Well, i do hope this is the first step. Definitely, i fear that if we were to make a team with prakesh, teamwork will not be something so easily forged.

Like come on, the very first thing that he did right on the first day that did piss me off is to look at my YCS uniform and stay far away from me and En hua.... I was like, "yo! come on in!!" (trying to be welcoming) but he was like, gave me that awkward stare, and sat right at the other corner. damn.....

Well, PC for today was total crap. Ran two rounds of the field, then tried to get a game to play. Well, MR veila (or whatever his name is) was a rather pleasant teacher. we couldn't find somewhere where we could socially fit ourselves in at first, so he asked if we could find any sport to play. Not wanting to trouble him, i told him that we were deciding on basketball. Quite a nice guy, really. Anyway, this thing was rather lame. If only we were allowed to use the courts to play. Heck.... Cuz in the wind and open weather, i totally could not perform to max.

Leung yu went back to collect his pe attire. Oops. I totally forgot about him. Should have messaged him and told him not to come instead. since i only knew last min that the thing was at 3:30. Really sorry, leung yu!!....

The shooting board has a 'clement loo' with no class attached.. HEck! I don't even know if i survived the first round. I heard there's another clement from Swiss in JJ.. DUno if that's him... Anyway, its only a letter's difference between clement LOO and clement LOW.... very hard to say leh.... sian.. I'll have to wait then... Isaac pro.. Both air rifle and pistol also got.. walau. i damn jealous sia...

got math tutorials which i haven't done up yet. HARGHS! I was hoping to finish all this shit here, then go on to it. If my dad had not taken so long, i'd not have slept, and perhaps i'll have completed the tutorial by now. HECK.. now i've only got this few hours to complete the assignment, and hopefully the next tutorial.. HECK! and mr owyong expects prim and proper work (Even in the tutorials, which I'm NOT REQUIRED TO HAND UP!!!).......

nah. i'd better get going with my shit before i get shitted up.. crap...

In a foul mood.....

2005-01-24T23:43:00.000-08:00

Feeeling:damn pissed....

My dad wanted to use the com for 'a little while'. Ended up, he used it for 'his little while' and poof. I ended up taking a short nap, wasting the time from when he finished til now, 11 plus. Damn! i was expectig him to like, inform me when it was done or something!!!

BARGH!!! Too pissed to write anything else. There is this interesting part about this RI guy i met in debate. BARGH. FORGET IT! no mood now. HAH!

I'm so pissed i'll probably chew my com up next for being THIS laggy after my dad reformatted it. Cool right? lags for 1 second every 30 seconds or so. So no matter what I do, IT WILL LAG!! (DAMN.. WHY THE HECK HAVE TO REFORMAT?! IT WS FINE BEFORE!!!!)

humph.

2005-01-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

Feeling:exasperated.

dammm.. My stupid brother took over the computer for some 'project' I was so damm pissed when i found him doing a simple powerpoint, and chatting at the same time. bloody hell. The worst thing is that my mum sides him. Bleah.!

Anyway, went to cut my hair.. The barber took a tad too much out of my fringe. Now after i wake up any time, all my hair stands up;..

Sighs... nothing much happened today. besides, i'm too pissed right now to type anymore.

Ngee Ann Poly

2005-01-22T20:55:00.000-08:00

Feeling:tired... undecided...

Well, went to Ngee Ann with SQ and TY.. TY being the year-1 student there at Ngee Ann, brought us around. Haha.. he kept pointing out the various canteens, and we got to see his many girl-friends.. hohoho(he has boy-friends too!)... Well well well.. How many of you remember Suraj? ooo.. well, I knew him way back in secondary 2, in CCK sec..haha.. he's the guy always bringing the laughter into the class. We used to stick around a lot.

Anyway, I asked lotsa questions about the various courses, about engineering, and about U- admission. Hmm. Seems like I have a sizeable opportunity to enter the U from Poly. Perhaps I might consider a Poly education. Certainly, slogging in a JC for two hard years, slogging your guts out on subjects you don't want to take, then finally, with that result (depending on certain ppl... some get better grades, others don't), you may not even get into the U course you want to.

Engineering. you take three years poly, with hands on exp, then you go into second year U (if you get an above avg result). cool... Not like JC. only paper certs. No 6-mth attachment prog.. haha...

Well, SQ went to ask about life sciences. Chem engineering. Well, I do suppose that has some potential as well.

Lots of potential to develop your strong points in poly. This is one thing that cannot be present in a JC. Sure, you get the course you want with the subjects you like in JC. But no matter how it goes (unless you're good in both GP and MT), your wings of potential will still be clipped by the shears of the subjetcts you are not good in(in my case, MT. In others' cases, perhaps GP).

hmm... there again, there's this 10% of myself that still refuses to let go of JC. hmm.. lets hope i make my mind up fast. then i can save 2 months of my time. instead of going to JC for another 2 mths before poly starts, i can actually use the 2 mths to do something constructive.

HOOO!!

2005-01-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Feeling:great

Well, I had a full day at sentosa.. With my OG and F2..

Haha.. we guys started the whole day off by a game of soccer on the scorching coarse sand.. oww.. that hurt on our soles.. Then we felt boliao and started dumping ppl in the water. Haha.. our first few failed. Each and every one of them started hugging the palm trees (like lia) and then the radio.. it was soooo funny..... Then we tried to pry lia's hands away from the tree, and she started screaming like she was being .... you know wat lar... lol

We decided to tartget one of our OGLs.. Yong shen and lye zhen din seem much fun to dump, so we decided to go for one of the female ogls. Then someone suggested Yee Pei... Then another OGL came along, and we enlisted his help. They were having mass dance, so he just conveniently fit in, then scooped her over his shoulder, and ran down the beach and dunked her in the water... it was so funnnyyy... hahaa..

Then we decided to go for patsy. She was in the toilet, so we had to wait. Then, after she came back, she sat down straight and started eating her delifrance bread.. lol.. so we were like, waiting and waiting. Finally our wait paid off. She stopped eating, so we grabbed her, dragged her out, and the four of us, each with a limb, carried her down the beach and dunked her in too.. haha.. that was sooo funny...

Finally, we decided that dunking wasn't going to be very much more fun, so we decided to give it a rest. Then, charlie and yaojun suggested swimming over to a small tiny island barely 10m away. We swam there without much difficulty, and whooo.. had the time of our lives there. We played around with the sand (it was wonderfully different) We climbed up the rocks and decided to shout back to our OG, but they din seem to be able to hear us, so we climbed down. Then Charlie lay down on the sand, and we decided that it would be a good idea to suntan there abit..

After quite abit, we swam back, only to find the rest in a rather lazy mood. Charlie's 'angels' started begging him to swim with them there, so we decided to swim there again. This time, we stayed there for ages, just suntanning and chatting, until we decided that it was getting late. We swam back, and true enough, most of the people went to eat something already. Then, Yaojun called yuwei, asking him to tapao something from BK for us to eat. in the end, Kok mun delivered it to us (thanks!) and we had a nice meal. Sun, sand sea, food and entertainment (another 2 OGLs were dancing theree.. haha)

After that, we decided to go home, but it was a long wait for everyone to get ready. We finally watched the sunset. The girls were too slow to watch it. We watched it disappear down the horizon. After that, we went home together.

Anyway, I took some pretty nice photots there with Leung Yu's cam...

This was the island we swam to.

Nice artistic pic? I love taking artistic pics!

there are more pics.. Go look at Leung Yu's blog www.lly.get.to

groggy......

2005-01-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

Feeling:sian....

I took a short 'nap' at 7 yesterday, expecting to wake up after my brother finished his project. However, the next time i awoke, hell.. it was 4am... dannngggg!!
Heck.. I din manage to come online the day before, had no time to blog... sighs....

Shiet.. the last night's entry was totally gone.. AFter my hours and hours of typing it out.. SIgh.. who cares anyway, huh?

Sighs.. Anyway, yesterday, i went for the debate thing after civics... Whoa.. just so much to talk about.... nah.. i guess i'll save it for tonight.. If i remember.. haa...

Now its about time for me to leave for the sentosa outing..... hmmmm.....

SHIT!!

2005-01-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

DAng.. I tried posting my entry for today just now.. the whole thing got lost.. I think i mihgt post it again tomorrow if i have the time.. gotta type it all out again.. do'nt have the mood now, you see... REally sorry.... i wanna slp ler..

blegh. disappointed...

2005-01-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

feeeling:disappointed.

Well, for those from YCS, have you ever wondered what it's like to be amidst a team of not-so-dedicated-or-helpful teachers? whoo.. okay. i'm experiencing it for the second time.... heck i'm beginning to hate this....

The first tutorial for the day. Math.. whoo.. I thought that it was gonna be fun, or at least, okay.. After all, Mr Owyong got my respect the day before during the lecture. Hmm... I think i might have misplaced it..

He started explaining his basic expectations for the class, selected the math rep, and started checking our homework. hmm.. I totally din know what to expect, and was more interested in jus trying out the questions, and heck, din really put very much effort to making it neat. After all, since (i thought) dun need to hand up, it duzn matter so long as I understand. He came around, and I explained to him my situation, and before I could even finish, he reprimanded me for my untidyness, blah blah blah. Flipped thro my foolscap pad, and started browsing thro my notes (okay that one has to be really messy. Each and every single stroke i make in my personal notes mean something to me, and me only.) and went like, "you have to be more organised than this..bla blabla....."

fine... i jus gave him some respect, nodded my head, and nobody would know how much fire i jus wanted to breathe out on him from my stomach. damn. he topped the whole thing off by telling me i was like, the slowest in the class. HECK! you haven't tested my true mettle in math, and you base this assumption on the fact that i din do up a tidy piece of work for you?! besides, i never intended to hand that up, otherwise it would be many times neater!!

HECKKK!! I HATE teachers who don't give ear to their students, brush them aside (like this)and reprimand them for faults they do not really have, or are trying their level best to get rid of. MANN! He lost my respect in that instant.

For econs, our teacher was actually our civics tutor (YAY!! ) and not that naggy ms chin. You must understand, the two people concerned here are both ms chin(s). But what a whole world of diff. I heard SQ say that his Ms Chin was like, scolding every one for every single move they made. one false move you make, like if you stretch or something like that, ha! she will start scolding ler. I hate this teacher cuz she's our lecturer.

Any time anyone was late for lectures, she will scold lke siao. Then when they try to occupy the back rows (having in mind the fact that it will cause less disruption) she starts scolding. En Hua was smart. he went all the way to the front, and then she had just finished scolding the ppl at the back. Then she turned and saw him, late. We were like, oh.. gonna kena liao.. He looked at her, she looked at him, that was a tense moment, then he slowly sat down. Then Isaac and I were like,, hahahaha!!! that was so funny.. lol(she couldn't scold him cuz he went to the front.. lol.. )

Physics teachers were not all too bad, just that physics covered on dry topics (HECK! i thought we left all this menial zero-error stuff back at secondary school?!)but good thing is that they will cover on trajectory (stuff which i've pondered since childhood).. good good good...

GP, not yet. We were only being taught how to slay the GP monster. Haha.. Newsweek and Times actually came to our sch, set up booths adjacent each other, then started publicising and telling us how students benefited in GP from the expository essays written there(oh yeah.. like the straits times' editorials were written by meagre cubs).. Nonetheless, En Hua went to screw them up. he went to newsweek, took all the benefits, then went to times and asked "can you offer better?" LOL!!

So Times was like, "oh you see, newsweek is actually a very shabby magazine.... blah blah blah" Then he took that statement and went back to newsweek, which cut its price in half and promised him 4 free gifts. hahaa!! with that, he went back to times and asked them, "can you do better?" Well, Times could not slash price, so it said "our magazine is quality stuff. we cannot slash our prices." lol!!! I wish i coulda done that too.. haha.!

PE was fun. Last week was "1...,2...,3...,4... oosh sha sha!" (running in step.. lol) with all the push ups (Mr Handsome Ng so good. only 1 push up and 1 sit up.. haha!!) this week, Mr Ang took us, and he was quite a nice guy. He wasn't so cheerful like Mr Ng, but he was quite nice nonetheless. (I heard that psyco tay was tons worse...) Anyway, he got us to do push-ups, stretches, and scissors jumps (WHOA! that was hell of a difficult exercise!!) before we ran a few rounds of the field, then the whole process went on again..

The day before, we checked the shooting noticeboard for the results. Then we din see that the list we were looking at was actually the list of ppl who havent taken their first trial and were asked to take it today. We were so disappointed until suddenly Isaac pointed out another foolscap bit that was pinned right next to the list.. harxx.. we realised.... so we were not chosen yet, neither were we eliminated. STILL GOT CHANCE!! HAA!!

Hm.. not much more to blog about. Perhaps if i remember anything, i'll post it in tomorrow's post. Oh yeah.. Forgot to thank the OGLs for the lil' book they gave us.. hee.. and a short testimonial too :) thank you!

I'llShowUIStillHvFightLeftInME!

2005-01-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

feeling:down....

Well, the start of tutorials and such have totally caught me off my feet. Heck, today's only monday. More to come soon....

Mental resilience down to 50%.......I tend to give up easily all of a sudden.... Well, new class, new people, but suddenly, my persistence in making friends have suddenly dropped (as in I almost give up after the first try..) Anyway, the guys elected me for PE rep.... whoa... i duno if i'm really THAT popular or if they were jus finding someone to sabo.. Well, i guess i jus played along...

*tired... nah.. not in the body.. tired in the mind... I guess that the two-month break proved insufficient... Perhaps i might wanna drop out after the first three mths, take two month's REAL break (THIS time, i WON't allow anything to disrupt it...) and hit back in poly with a vengeance.. (lol.. figuratively...)

Nah.. not much mood to blog tonight... I wish my steam were working and i could jus trash some ass in CS.. But it isn... so i'm going to gunbound with keith (keifu;Totto-chan)

kanojo ga suki da yo. demo ima kanojo shitanda

2005-01-15T01:59:00.000-08:00

feelin: okay lar.. abit down... jus feel like blasting things.. haha..

Well, she knows already.. haha.. i nv expected her to be so smart.. lol.. But arghs.. anyways.... no difference if she finds out.. Besides, I don't intend to start a relationship even if she reciprocates........

Well, I tried the shooting trial.. For pistol, i got four shots on the black area with two of them overlapping (7-10pts) then i had five shots at the border of the black (5,6 pts) and one shot totally misfired (1pt).. haixx. well, i do hope i still can get in.. (i hope i can join both shooting and band...)

I registered for band.. but heck,.. there are so many flautists... bwargh!... perhaps this could be a chance for me to show how good i am at the flute.. or the reverse could be true too.. this could be a chance for me to learn a lesson or two.....

Well, just as well.. I guess i've yet to see a peer or junior exceed me in the flute. perhaps because i've only served in two bands... Besides, there are many many more flute players who are definitely better than me. I just hope to meeet one...

Hmm.. perhaps i should set a guideline on what to do for CCA selection.....

I'll join shooting if i get in, but only if SQ and IZ get in too. but if i don't, i'll join band. If I join band, i'll join the flute section only if there's nobody better than me. (or should i join only if there's someone better than me? i don't wanna compromise tian lu's chances of learning the flute). In the case I don't join flute.. hmm.. i'll probably want to learn the saxophone.. since its the only woodwind instrument left that i haven't picked up..

hmm... considerations to make........ many decisions.. sighs.. i guess i'll jut slp now.. haha...

I HATE MYSELF.....

2005-01-12T04:48:00.000-08:00

Feeling:moody...

I talk too much.....How can anyone help me? jus tell me to shut up.. i'll appreciate that..

Sighs...

myriad of feelings bombarding me now... Having a bad cough (the worst in my life i think.. since i barely ever got coughs..) and a sore throat..

Looking for soothing or noisy music.. any to reccommend? i guess i jus wanna use them to ease up my mood a litte...

nah.. don't worry.. its not your fault guys.. you still rox.. whoever you are.. OG7, 4E1, 4E2, YCS.........

Booorrreedd...

2005-01-11T12:52:00.000-08:00

Feeling:sian....

Well, today we had 2.5 hrs of free time in sch.. just slacking all the way.. I heard that ppl were crashing JCs here and there, and two students actually went from JJ to PJ and back again before dismissal.. haah..

Well, tml is PC (Physical conditioning lar! not pastoral care... heck,, almost nobody knew, cuz they all thought its pastoral care... like me lor.. heckkk!) siao liao.. run like donkey jump like monkey.. ok lar.. so long as at the end get to play a game of badminton i satisfied le lar.. but as to whether really get to play badminton or not.. haha.. thats another thing...

hmm.. my grp had an outing today... to mcdonalds.. and hey hey hey!! Chong, Yong, Justin and keith were there.. keith dyed his hair and it kinda looked like his dog's coat of fur.. i mean the top tuft.. well i din mean it offensively, but still, the multicolours look quite cute.. hahaa.. well, i blew my budget badly, so i'm probably gonna have to live on a tight pocket this month.. Haixx. now my dream of a pocket pc is slightly further.. by a month.. We took a lot of pix, and chatted while the OGLs left... and *whew....* nobody brought the topic up or i'll be so dead......lol...

Well, when i got back, it din rain! So i went downstairs to roller blade.. hehe.. I managed to improve on my crossovers, and the T-stop is not as difficult as before.. quite satisfied.. at least I achieved something..

well, tired liaoz.. nxt time then post ba....

whew... after a tiring day

2005-01-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

Feeling:reflective

WEll, i jus kinda got into that reflective mood, reflecting on my own character, my values and my personal philosophies. Hmm... Sometimes, I guess, i leak out too much information.. Info I don't want people to know... sometimes i'm a little too honest. I guess, in this aspect, I really admire Li Hao's maturity. I was rather impressed by his show of character when he said during 'e-web' "in case you all don't know, there's another guy here, and he's Ming Hui." Well, I must admit that I had two choices at that time, and I'm ashamed to say that Ming Hui was my 'backup choice'. The other choice was, of course, Kok mun.

Well, this afternoon I guess I carried the joke a little too far and offended Shi Yun. I really am sorry.. I din mean to hurt you.. I was really just playing around as I thought you didn't mind. I'm really sorry, Shi Yun.

Anyway, this morning was super... First thing of all, i was quite disappointed when i went to the grand stand area and found that my missing t shirt was not there.. disappointed, i walked down where i met chin hong and had a little chat. AIYA!! din get his contact! Then i went to the canteen where the OG chatted for awhile.. Then, suddenly, poof! my T shirt appeared right in front of me... Wow.. Yee Pei actually found it two days before (i thot she, like the other ogls, din receive my msg before leaving sch) thanks a lot! i really couldn't be any more grateful!

Then we crashed Chem lecture... hoho... well, nothing much.. But from some things the teacher said, i was starting to consider Chem Engineering in poly altho my chem is not very powerful. After all, in Chem engineering, they do everything that electrical engineers and mechanical engineers do.. Don't tell me that doesn't require physics?!

The Physics teacher was boring, but nonetheless I had fun playing around with my bluetooth.. hahaa..I did manage to find out a bit more about it. Econs lecture was worse. If you would call Mdm 'saggy' ow a monster... whoa.. i won't know what to call this econs teacher.. still, i had some fun with the bluetooth.. playing around with the various interdevice functions that it provided. Man, and we still had to buy econs notes.. haixx...

After that was total sian time.. WE went out.. Sq and IZ contemplated whether or not to attend the Fmath lecture in LT2(their class was not stated there..) I wanted to crash Fmath lecture.. But at least, not without them. Hence, when they decided to go, i went along to the canteen with them.. where i met joanne and chivi(Li Hao was going off for chem). Well, we went to the library where joanne kept pressing me for my secret while i read a chapter on thermal equilibrium. Hmm.. pretty interesting. Spoken about things i've wondered for centuries. Perhaps i'm just very interested in energy transfer, and the new topic of renewable energy. I'll talk more about that another time...

haha.. the talk for us? lol.. I was having more fun with my BT. the speaker was soooooooooo dammmmmm boring... stating examples so cliche (like the story of solomon. Anyone who hasn't read the Bible would have known of this wise man. let alone someone who has.. haixxx) that i just ended up engrossed in my world of BT.. hahaa..

Hmm.. i feel quite bad.. cuz i sent a rather hurtful message to my dad, altho i was really at the pinnacle of my frustration. However, he came home, and while i was washing the car, he quietly helped me readjust the parental controls.. well, at least, for now,, i can access other ppl's blogs.. heee.. Still, I helped him out with the laundry(which he was supposed ta help my mum with)... I guess I just hope that to be a gesture of love from son to father..

Still, I find joy that I'm finding joy in helping my dad with the laundry, helpin my mum with the car washing and helpin zuyi inform the grp abt grp mtg.. I guess... I hope its finally the time which i'm maturing... I guess i'm finally getting a step closer to what I have always desired for the past four years:maturity.

Well, stil, today's probably a reflection of a normal day at jc.. haha.. today's still quite free.. tml will be slightly better.. without the talk.. hmm... lets hope my secret escapes notice for a day.. *whew... * its getting tiring hiding it from everyone.....

stupid parental controls!

2005-01-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

feeling:unhappy

man! the stupid parental controls on my program is filtering everything from my firewall updates to practically everyone's blogs.. Sighs.. I can only go into a few ppl's blogs now.. So sian.. and my father refuses to go try and do somethign to rectify the problem.. mannn!!

Well, my 'edit post' function is not accessible because of boliao reasons the stupid parental controls decided to block it. mann!! anyway, that means if i make a typo error on my blog posting, please forgive me.. since i can't change it...

siann.. i'm so pis-sed right now... (MAN i can't even spell out bad words in full otherwise it will get filtered.. mann!!)

orientation camp over....

2005-01-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

Feeling:tired... good..

I feel good (clap) oh i feel so good *ah* oh i feel so(clap) oh i feel so(clap) oh i feel so(clap) good *ah* *ah* *ah*...

Well, the camp was fun... but in some ways a disappointment.. Well, this made me think twice about jc education..

Anyway, WWIII was fun, as was the telematch.. I must agree that I haven't enjoyed myself more in such camp games before... However, when my mum sees the flour-stained shirt, she'll probably scream..

Well, I lost a shirt there. I know where it might be now, but as to whether it will remain there, i'm not sure.. I changed out of one of my fav shirts to a dirty shirt before playing WWIII.. then i left it at the grand stand area.. this morning, i saw it still there, but i forgot to take it in the end.. mann! well, lets hope I manage to recover it somehow..

Anyway, I made quite a few new friends.. Esp Kok Mun.. WEll, basically we were just together, and i'm glad I have a friend like me to keep me company in camp alpha.. since all my other schmates all in camp beta..

hmm.. I started liking someone in camp too.. well, it gets embarrassing esp as to who it is.. Well, I guess in such matters I should still stay disciplined as the conservative I am.. After all, since I know that God will bring into my life the 'best' better half for me, then why do I insist on having 'second best' better half?

hmmm..

2005-01-06T15:45:00.000-08:00

I've decided to change the address of my blog, because of some childish person who posts insulting comments on this blog. However, I would like you all to personally ask for the address, because if I were to announce it here or on my msn nick, that person is bound to see it. Thanks for the trouble, anyway. The changing will take effect from next friday.

First day of sch in JJ

2005-01-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

Feeling:tired...

WEll, mosta the time was boring... WE had to listen to the painfully boring principal address, followed by countless briefings for subject combinations.. Anyway, I have decided to take double maths and physics(like I always have...)

Well, we spent time singing songs, shouting cheers and dancing(boooorrrriinnngg..) Honestly I don't mind if i'm clustered with one or two of my frens from my own school but, I'm totally alone! Speaking about fine divisions, there are no YCS pupils in my OG nor family (one OG is about 15 ppl, one family is made out of about five OGs or so). Then there was totally no YCS pupil besides myself in Camp Alpha (one camp is made out of three families).. so when they split camp alpha and beta for activities, which they do practically all the time, i'm all alone.. harghs!

Anyway, sherman din get his shuriken.. haahaaaahaaa..... but don't worry.. you'll get it soon.... Still, lets hope tml ends up being a more exciting day in JJ... and somehow opens an opportunity for me to know a female like i've never known before.. hmmm.. i'm really girl crazy.....

Haarrrghhh.. tml skool...

2005-01-02T23:16:00.000-08:00

feeling:excited

School reopens tomorrow.. Man! I can hardly wait!! WEll, we got posted to JJC... Sq, Isaac, Mavis and I(and I heard Nianci and Anni too.. i'm not sure though)

Anyway, i've been put in a different group from all of them.. I heard Mavis and Sq are in the same family.. wow... Sian.. i'm all alone......

Sighs.. I guess what the future holds is uncertain.. difficult to anticipate.... Just trust God and see how it goes..... I'm still not sure whether or not to go to poly or jc.

Anyway, seeya guys...(sniff.. i'm gonna miss YCS a lot......)

hmm..

2005-01-02T00:56:00.000-08:00

Feeling:ok

Well, it wasn't a waste attending Shu Yee's wedding after all.. I am one person who particularly dislikes attending wedding ceremonies because of the long, draggy waits(for people to arrive). However, what the preacher said on the pulpit as exhortation really touched me...

Like he said, God honours your likes and your dislikes. The perfect one meant for you will not be someone you don't like. The one He chooses for you will definitely be one you will share the rest of your life with, more so without regrets.

Well, for all those who have failed in courtship out there, haha... he has a word of encouragement; better fail in courtship than fail in marriage.. Well, this really is meaningful. Its better to break up while you still can, rather than drag thro the marriage (which means you have to endure your spouse for, what,? 40 years or so?)

A word of advice also, for those dating. Think carefully before you actually go into the marriage. Do not enter it haphazardly...

Hmm.. at least, I gained something in exchange for the hoooorrriiibbbllleee waiting... hehee..

YAYY.. year end post!!

2004-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

feeling:excited

Hmm... just wondering what awaits in the new year.. here am I, sitting here, posting this before the new year starts... hmm.....

2004 was a memorable year. not only i won for myself a hifi set, i had my YCS friends celebrate my birthday with me in the ice skating rink (never had my friends celebrated my BD with me before)...

Just kinda sad that gotta part with my YCS friends... Indeeed, my two years' stay in YCS has been memorable..

Well, right now i'm sharing the gospel with Lishi. I guess at this time, no amount of persuasion will work. The Christian life is like a house. Before you are saved, you see a house. Outside, there is a signboard saying "Whosoever will may come". When you are saved, you step in the house. In the house, there is a namelist, "chosen before the foundation". Well, I guess, while each and every Christian is chosen by God before the foundation of this earth, before he even created this earth, it is still our duty as Christians to reach out to lost souls.

Anyway, for Lishi, i guess Lydia and Co. have been trying to reach out to her, and i really found it (i don't know how to describe this feeling/expression) that Lydia actually prayed every night for her.. wow.. Anyway, right now all we can do is pray..

Still, this is an accomplishment for me, in a way. Much as I end up being ashamed of the gospel many times, much as I have been shy to share the gospel with my friends;much as I have been hesitant to talk to a stranger about the gospel during tracting sessions, I guess i have started this year good. By sharing the Gospel. I urge all you Christians out there to share the gospel at any opportunity. See the tsunami? that's just one of the signs that the Bible says would happen when we are nearing the last days. (Luke 21:11) "And great earthquakes shall be in divers places,...; ...and great signs shall there be from heaven."

And also, those who know Lishi, do keep her in prayer...

And for you, Lishi, well, do take serious consideration about your life. Your eternity. I'll remember you in prayer.

YAY! music is really up~!

2004-12-30T00:49:00.000-08:00

Feeling:satisfied

Well, after switching from host to host to host to host to host, i finally got keith to upload my song (the one that's playing in the backgrd) on his site.. AND IT WORKS!! HEEE!!!

Well, the story goes like this. i first put it on streamload, but some ppl could not hear it. surprisingly, others could.

so i tried geocities. Then this time, those who could not hear it can hear it, but those who could now cannot..

Finally, after tinkering with a whole hell load of hosts, i finally got fed up and asked keith to upload to his site for me to link.. yipppeee.. now the same people i asked just now ALL can hear it.. heeeee....

Credit goes to Totto-Chan(Keith).. hey.. thanks a lot, buddy! couldn'ha done the topping off of this blog if not for you :)

Oh yeah anyway, if anyone can find the naruto MP3s please tell me.. there's this certain music that is played especially during the emotional scenes that's very nice... its got a japanese flute in the main foreground of the music... I will be grateful to the person who can find it...

heee. baackkk!

2004-12-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

Feeling:happy..

Finallly back at home...

Well, there's just so much to post.. so much to say.. But anyway, I was greatly blessed by the trip to saipan. Although we had spiritual blessings seeing the China Chinese in the Christian Church of Saipan grow, we had other blessings during the trip too.. i'll explain later on.

We originally hoped to bring blessings to the people of saipan thro our trip there. We held a DVBS (daily vacation Bible school) for the kids there. Just seeing 20 souls added to heaven in just that one week was a real encouragement. Like the Bible says, the heavens rejoice when one lost soul is brought to Christ. I learnt much about how to manage and take charge of children of that age during that time. Honestly, its not easy to give attention to each and every single kid there is there. However, its a very fruitful experience..

On two occasions, we visited the chinese workers during their dormitory fellowships. The way they just hungered for the Word just set me alight. Seeing them so zealous and feverent in hearing the Word and living out just makes me reflect on my own life and want to live a life for Christ. They all have been through much hardship. most of them probably would be matchmade to a man when they go back, usually non-Christian, and would be forced to submit to the matchmaking under the pressure of the family.. Most of them could lose their faith as a result, and this is one of the concerns. Most of them are very poor, and live in the squalid conditions of the dormitories.

Well, for the korea trip, it was really good. It was rather heart wrenching to leave saipan, for all that I've mentioned jsut now, and also because of another personal reason I have. Well, I guess that I've given a clue in the previous posts, but I guess i'll only tell the people closest to me...............

Anyway the year is closing. THe new year is dawning. I guess, better to prepare myself for it.. If I could have it my way, I'd rather have some more time to rest.... I wish I could go for carolling this year, but... bwawrgh...... well, i don't know what else to post.. I guess i'll continue tomorrow..

wheee.. greetings from korea....

2004-12-26T20:55:00.000-08:00

feeling:ok(nose bled profusely)

Well, i'm in korea now, in a ski resort.. so no matter how, die die will hv snow wan.. altho if it din snow, the snow i see is artificial(which is the case so far)... well, the saipan mission trip was filled with blessings... however, it came with an additional emotional tag.. yeah.. at least, this will happen for someone as girl-crazy as me...

Anyway, i went skiing.. hmm... i hope to be able to go to the beginner slope (which is still quite steep) tomorrow.. hopefully i can go before going home..

Otherwise, my nose bled. i think its becuz of the dry weather.. and i have inherited my father's knack for a nose bleed (i din watch XXX.. dun worry.. hahaa)

Anyway, my blog sound works.. like it? haha.. its one of my fav songs,..

ok.. gotta go.. update you all when i'm back... heeee. :)

Oh yeah... blessed christmas, guys!

haa!!

2004-12-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

feeling:whoa..

Well, i'm here.. posting this entry from the airport... first thing i must say is that the keyboard is sooooooooooo small altho the table space is so large.. haha. what a waste.. the spacebar is especially inaccessible.. such that i often miss spaces...

WEll, thank God for this chance to serve him , to support a mission outpost in Saipan, and Just wanna pray that God will bless those in the mission team, as well as those in the receiving end...

Anyway, the funny part is that the bgsound works perfectly here at the airport computers.. thats funny... Keene, do me this favour.. help me check it out...

Anway thats all i've got to say here.. just keep me and the mission team in your prayers :)

Haa.. new blog layout..!!

2004-12-15T00:06:00.000-08:00

Feeling:Exhillerated...

haa.. I just laid down my new blog layout.. Cool right? haaa..

Well, i played badminton today.. Twisted and strained my wrist while trying to do all the power smacks... Well, kinda hurts for now.. I guess it'll take some time to get back to normal..

Well, Des, kok yao and Rachel were power players there... I was like, getting trashed there by Des and Kok yao.. haaa.... looks like i've got a lot of space for improvement.. Altho i can run and stretch.. But i think i tend to move too much in terms of footwork.. My aiming for the shuttle is still rather off....haaaiiizzz (Why am I this competitive..?

Well, i spent two or four gruelling hours at the computer doing the new layout.. haa... quite satisfied with it.. Anyway, i'm gonna slp liao.. haaaaaaaa

hallo

2004-12-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

going to saipan and then korea..

Will be back on the 28th....

will miss every one of u till then,.....

And sorely miss a certain special person.... (i'm dreaming...)

Well... too lazy and down to type any more... will post again when i'm back...

heee.. Back from camp

2004-12-10T20:40:00.000-08:00

Feeling:haaaahhh.. duno... :)

Well, back from camp.. Haha.. if you would have it my way, i'd rather the camp lasted for two weeks... haha..

Well, my palm was siao siao... So i ended up not bringing it for the YF camp.. dang.. din get to do all the note taking and stuff... now its ok (~@#!@#!!#@!@!!!!)

Sighs.... Well, i'm back now.. now on to my naruto frenzy.. haaaaa.....

disappointed.. bordering on hate

2004-12-06T02:38:00.000-08:00

{disappointed... Bordering on hate}

~alone~... Still fighting alone..

Angry
Alone
Fighting alone..
Unhappy

haaaaaaa.....

2004-12-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Feeling: excited... heee..

YF camp next week (6th-11th..) been waiting a whole year for this to come.. eVer since my YF camp last year was cut short by band camp !#$!@#$!$!!!

Well,... in the meantime, I won't be online.. neither will I be updating this blog.. Altho, i'll prolly giv a summarised report of the exciting camp after i'm back.. (heee...) can't wait for tomorrow~!!!

haha... to sum this week up

2004-12-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

feeling:bored..

Well, the trip to wild wild wet was rather fun.. won't wanna elaborate too much... bottomline.. there were so many chiobus there.. but theere were two who caught my attention.. i'm sure u see them oso will agree wif me wan.. haha...

The slide up was especially exciting.. its a two people ride.. and since we had an odd number of guys n gals, one guy had to go with a girl... well, i was the first to be 'sacrificed'.. haha.. anyway, they drew lots and got me to go with lishi... (zl and sq pakat wan.. pang seh me... ) anyway, i went a total of three times.. and the one that the most "whoosh" was the one when i went with ZL... haha.. the whole 'raft' spun like siao.. woooooohhhh...

There were a whole lot of other rides but.. haha.. not enuf time to talk about them...

Well, then came tues, which (hmmm.. can't really remember what went on then.. i think i stayed home.. uneventful day...)

Wed was cool.. went to TY's house.. haha.. and played DOA-ultimate (whoosh... cooo) the storyline developed a bit more.now then i knew that Ein is hayate, and that hayate(ein) is kasumi's bro
then hayate is ayane's brother (or something?) too..
kasumi is hayabusa's gf.. whooooo.....

then it was today when i started my obsession with naruto..i watched the 1,2,3 ep.. then i burned 4,5,6, ep to go home n watch... ultimately, now i'm waiting for keene to burn the 7th and 8th ep for me b4 i go yf camp... so that i can know what happened..

haha.. naruto is so funny. naruto is like, some gugu who likes sakura. then sakura and ino are 'competing' for uchiha sasuke's attention.. and sasuke's just like,/... "humph.. how annoying..".. haha....

funny anime which follows a progressive storyline.. haha...

Well, thu was quite uneventful.. spent the day at home reading my book..
the starwars book i borrowed frm TY(tze yuan)

hmm fri was quite uneventful too.. played badminton with a FEW church frens... (man.. where DID the others go?!) and spent some time in keene's house (infecting him with my naruto craze too.. heeeee)

Well, thats just a brief summary..

Anyway, back to TY.. we go back a looooooonnnnnggg way... come to think of it, we were from the same class in P6.. hahaa.. still, we're still in contact.. meeting up every term or so.. haaahhhhhh.. seems liek the friends i made in pri sch (the core 4 frens, ty sherm germ and me..) are the closest friends i have so far.. altho sec sch frens still count..

Well, Sec sch frens (including and especially frens made in YCSS) have made many memories. one of which was to celebrate my 17th BD with me in the ice skating rink... (never before had i celebrated my BD with my frens)...

Looks like i'm gonna miss every one of them soon enough.. hopefully someone will organise frequent meetups...

Haa!!!

2004-12-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

feeling:excited..

Reformatted my com.. hopefully the parental controls won't start blocking my blog again.. or else i won't be able to update it again...

well, too excited now.. gonna try out the other things... Later...

haha... to sum this week up

2004-12-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

damn...

2004-11-25T07:22:00.000-08:00

feeling:sian

My dad got this stupid net nanny thing.. that blocks off a lot of things.. Esp Blogspot.com.. so i won't be updating for the time being......

grad nite.. woohoo

2004-11-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

Feeling:exhausted.. But happy..

Grad nite was more than just memorable. Although I spent quite some time with SQ in the afternoon, and thereafter some time helping with the preparations for the grad nite (ooo... me ben n SQ tangled a whole lot of balloons and had hell of a time settling it.. haha) the whole evening was totally gooooodddd...

Well, Sq n me had lunch together (a simple meal of maggie noodles and my specialty egg-woohoo) and we were playing for a little while.. Then we went off to grassroots club right after that (at about 3 plus) to help with the decorations... Somehow, we ended up earlier than anyone else.. haha...

The baloons were a major tangle.. don't wanna cover that.. haha.. still, it was rather fun helping out there... esp later going down to 'deceive guests' (lishi... don't laugh... not funny.. hahahaha)

Finally, the party itself... THe food was major stuff.. ok, not say food fit for a king, but definitely good stuff.. the games were not really out of the ordinary, but enough to make the night memorable.. Then, when it came down to the lucky draw, Kar Woon was first up to get a prize.. we were talking about CS, then suddenly "Seah KAr woon!" he was totally stunned there.. haha.. our table got the most prizes from lucky draw.. 6 people out of hte 11 sitting there got prizes.. woot... but i got the best one.. for the first time in my life i got the first prize:a hifi set.. woooooottttt!!!...

Well, it was kinda bulky... so every one offered to carry it for me(ehhh.. hahaa. you know what I mean.. with that grin on their face too.. haha)Anyway, we got to Cineleisure and played CS... Keith ended up losing the MP3 player he won in the lucky draw, as well as the converse water bottle he won from being Mr YCSS... somehow.. he left it somewhere and went to play CS. haha.. but it won't be a big loss to him cuz he's getting a new phone next year with MP3 player(awww.. my turn to get jealous).....

Anyway, it was the first ever MP3 player he had.. haha.. memorable night tho..

Kinda sad Ms Chong is leaving.. WHen she addressed us in her speech, she sounded as though she were holding back tears.. Yes, I really appreciate all that she personally did for me as a principal. However, we're leaving too.. haha..

Still, this night is the most memorable.. of course, it cannot be compared with the birthday party at the ice skating rink.. Both events make me remember this year...

Well, this day 24/11/2004 will go deep into my memory. I'll never forget...

I wish to forget

2004-11-23T13:38:00.000-08:00

feeling:unhappy

Visited CCK winds today. For the first time since I left. A lot has changed. The Band-tee... the admin...many things...

THey have two string basses now.. However, that was not a wise move because they did not even fill up the tuba section.. talk about string basses..

Let's be critical here.. Although throughout hte practice, Mr Wilson Ong was emphasizing time after time on balance, I believe what needed more work is the percussion and the intonation. poor intonation. one or two flutes were totally out of tune to the extent it was almost a semitone's difference. For once, the flute section had more than one guy in it from any level. three of them were guys. the girl was constantly flat..

The string basses, one guy and one girl. THe guy being constantly flat too... THe clarinets, peggie(the drum major) was constantly sharp. Poor intonation. THat's all I can say.

I would have loved to observed the sectional practice too, but I couldn't. I came right smack in the middle of their camps... Well, I guess, I just want to forget all those times.. Those good days. No. I wanna forget them all. I hate memories. Especially seeing all this change. Well, perhaps my prediction for this band might not come true, that it will close down within five or ten years. I must credit Mr Ong for having had put that hard work in, as well as the school pumping in money to spruce up their instrumental collection and library.

Still, I am no longer a CCK winds member. I will cease to be, I will forget.

BIRTHDAY!!.. heee...

2004-11-22T19:55:00.000-08:00

Feeling:happy..

Well, this is the first time my friends remembered my birthday. In the past, I guess its because my BD was so late in the hols so nobody knew when my BD is.. Perhaps only sherman would remember it.... :)

Anyway, I kinda tried to make it low key (i scared BD bash la...) but Weijing, Karen, Huilin, Zhenlin, Soh Hua, and Tze yuan celebrated it with me in the ice skating rink.. so we had 3 mins worth of soap suds (used to simulate snowing) for free.. haha....

Well, I was rather surprised, becasue I realised that I couldn't skate as well on ice as I thought I would...the tracings in the ice made it rather hard to skate without my blades going all over the place, and even then, I disliked the alignment of the blades, becasue it made me end up on my outward edges easier, while I was more secure when i'm on the inward edges... was kinda nooby there for the first hour...

Then when I tried a power slide, I fell flat on my butt... ANd owww! My wrist hurt.. Thank God it did not dislocate or break... well, kinda got phobetic of falling later on.. haha.. anyway, there was this pro going around at breakneck speeds and doing power slides here and there. wat de.... but I must agree that the physics of ice skating is very different from roller blading. However, the basics are different, and if you ask me, I think that roller blading is hell lot easier... haha

Anyway, its hte most memorable birthday I ever celebrated. Normally my mum would only treat me to McDonalds.. Yeaps.. thats all.. Last year it was slightly better, in that my parents bought Pizza hut back.,... but nothing beats this year. thanks guys! really, I appreciate it!

Well, I ended the day looking at the pharmacy for rubbing alcohol(for my flute). However, the cashiers were just irritating when they started going "can I introduce this pimple cream to you"... heeeccckkkkk.... Okok!! I'll wash my face more frequently.. ok.. just SPARE ME THIS CRAP.. (I'm not some rich pauper who's rich enough to spend forty bucks on one tiiinnnyyyyy tablet sized bottle of pimple cream).... But well, at least I got what I wanted.. Rubbing alcohol.. for my flute! *sniff...* don't have much more cash to use for the rest of the holidays,.. I'm just hoping here that my dad gives me internet access during the day so that I can play online in alternative to spending my day and money outside.

Haaahhhh... still wishing for the right girl to come along by and.... kinda jealous still.... kinda wishing that I had a girlfriend right now to share this joy and spend some time with me... just me... haaahhhhh... I'm daydreaming... haahhh

Well, this day will go down deep into my memory banks.... 22/11/2004

~Alone~ still fighting alone.... {Disappointed... bordering on hate}

2004-11-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

feeling:alone......

Fighting alone.... I guess i'm half jealous of edi.. who has a better half to compliment him.... Anyway, I've been wanting a better half.. someone to build a house on the rock with. kinda jealous...

Well, i'm still fighting alone.. fighting myself, fighting others... conflict inside, conflict outside... I have a lot of things to change during this time, and I'm thankful God gave me this block of free time.. Tho i wish it can be more but...what the heck!

Sometimes, I feel I need someone to compliment me.. Someone I can encourage, hold up and provoke unto good works.. Someone who can do the same for me...

I guess in reflection sometimes I might just get the whole concept wrong.. Maybe in here, I expect my girl (if i have one) to be my drug, to numb feelings of pain I feel elsewhere.. To let me absorb myself in her, to just get that 'feelings'... I guess i may be wrong sometimes.. in that..

Sigh.. memories. I hate memories. Some of the best times I felt in CCK winds.. I jsut cant let go.. Can't forget... I can't let go the painful fact that since I was politically ousted that the whole band is falling to pieces faster than I expected.. I'm going back to visit on tue.. HEck, I don't even know anyone there. I'm just hoping I still can recover my silvercloth.. an item of rememberence.

I had some of the best times in my life there. two band camps(dam! only two! in sec 1)My seniors.. My juniors.. Everyone was just a family there..... In there, we leave our troubles at the doorstep,.. on dennis' hair, then we go in for the practice.. I enjoyed every single practice.. all the way till end of sec 2.. Some of the grandest times I had there.. Going to perform at the Istana... watching the Crescendo II at raffles hotel. an official concert. performing regularly at MacRitchie... Performed once at CCK park for its opening ceremony... memories.. I hate memories. good memories only make me want to re-live them.. THat makes me feel that loss.. that pain. Bad memories only want to be forgotten.

Sighs.. I need a tranquiliser.. some drug.. some depressant drug... maybe.. haha...

fighting on the other side. It seems that soon, I may have to play the role of da ge in YF.. It seems that ppl from my batch are fast disappearing.. All that remains now are a few senior YFers who will graduate in time to come. then the rest is us.. and the sec 1s and 2s.. Time for me to crawl out of my shell and prepare to take the helm.. but.. I'm not ready.....

Seems that soon, in the 'perfect Bible' issue.. I may end up having to take a stand... in the split. I feel so alone. nobody to fully be able to trust, to say everyting out while having full assurance he will not betray you one day.

I feel alone.
Just alone.
I need recluse.
I want out.
now.
I want out. NOW!
~alone~ still fightin alone... {disappoitned.. bordering on hate}[fighting for all i'm worth] |trying to stay in once piece..mentally..physically|

I guess i'll share about the {disappointed...bordering on hate} part another time.. tired... sad.. can someone share my sorrow and burden? can someone half my burden?

O levels finally over!

2004-11-19T23:09:00.000-08:00

Feeling: Estatic...

Well, at long last, this long bitter battle is over.... WEll, i was crazy enough to go early to school at about 7.... Then i studied until 9 when I went up to sharpen my blunt skill in the flute... and then went to join Isaac in studying....

The chem papers were quite a battle. Paper 1, I hope I got as close to perfection as possible... Cuz paper 2 i kena bunge ler... A lot of qn duno how to do.... Haiz... I ended up skipping question after question, ending up, I reached the end of the paper within half an hour.. (after all that skipping)...

But still, I went to kenny rogers with my group.. Rather disappointed that I was the only guy there.. haha.. All the guys in my YF grp of David all pang seh me... haiz.. but it was quite a delight because not only did I have a good meal, the girls in my group (all older than me, so don't start thinking) celebrated my birthday with a simple strawberry cake.. haha.. hvent had cake for my bd in 7 years.. quite a delight tho.. my grp leader actually remembered my birthday.....

Chem.. die liaox

2004-11-18T22:18:00.000-08:00

Feeling:sian.. headache

Chem die liao le... phy die liao.. have to score like, super super high then can get a good grade.. hell.... altho phy is one of my strong subjects, totally cannot get A1 cuz of that STUPID BELL CURVE.... Haarrghhss.. such that the A1 has become close to 98%... harghs....

Haiyazzz..... sian liao.. go play game liao... totally no mood to study....

{Disappointed bordering on Hate}[fighting for all I'm worth]~Alone.. still fighting alone....~

Urban JUNGLE!!!

2004-11-16T03:24:00.000-08:00

feeling:sian...

I trekked throughout the stupid urban jungle in Singapore only to realise that the urban jungle(CBD area) Is full of bars, shops, bars shops BARS, SHOPS, B A R S, S H O P S... Booooorrrrriiinnnggg... And Sam and I were trekking through that stupid urban jungle searching for a stupid archery range ONLY TO FIND OUT THE BUILDING IS UNDER RENOVAION!!! HECK!@!!!

Well, the story goes like this.. We thought we could go to marina shopping centre by going to marina bay. Guess what? we alighted at marina bay only to realise that we are in the middle of nowhere! We saw hell loads of construction sites, but the CBD behind it.. We thought we could find a way to CBD by trekkign through the plain open field that seemed to be between us and a certain building.... Ended up, the whole building was walled, and there was a ladder tied there.. so we climbed it, did a bit of climbing, and finally found our way to the carpark of that building.. Man! Such an adventure! In Singapore.!!! Bleah!

We ended up in shenton way, totally lost. Then we asked a bus-driver for directions, how to get to Marina shoppping centre.. he told us, go the OTHER side and take 75. so we went to the other side of the road, and realised that it was a one-way street. We didn't know what he went by the OTHER side, so we went back and took 75, only to realise we were heading towards Bukit panjang. MAN! going back home....... so we alighted somewhere at grange road, which was near somerset.. and walllllkkkkkeeeedddd.....

Ended up, we took taxi from where we were (totally lost) and spent about $3.90 just to get to where the MRT could get us for much less... Dang!!!

Sighs.. Nonethelesss, still an adventure.. You don't get to do all that climbing, in the carpark.... man.. we really felt like wierdos....

going crazy....

2004-11-10T05:29:00.000-08:00

Feeling:sian...

Well, couldn't go anywhere today to play.. Sian.. But neither do I feel like studying... Haiz....

Pining for a girlfriend.. Although I know that isn't right... haiz.. Well, It seems I'm going crazy all alone.. Sometimes I wish for a little support.. Sometimes, maybe I just wish there can be someone who is there for me 24/7....

Alone..
Distressed..
Sad..
Unhapppy...
Somebody stop me.........

e-maths... a slew of emotions...

2004-11-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

feeling:rather mixed..

well, E-math was pretty easy... But I heard that an A1 takes more than just 75%.. rather, it requires 90%.. Sigh... I did lose quite some marks due to careless mistakes in the paper.. I do hope I still can get an a1.. otherwise there is hardly any other subject I can ace..

sigh.. too tired to post anything else.. haha

sad...

2004-11-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

feeling:sad...

Sad to think of the possibility of the YF falling apart one day... sad... Well, now I guess I have to step outta my shell, and start taking the more prominent positions in YF... I guess If I don't, I don't suppose anyone will...

I felt a strong burden and as I did my quiet time.. Currently, this series talks about men having to step up to take leadership of the church.. I see a lack in leaders in the church.. I feel a need for someone to step up to take up the leadership.. but I don't feel ready.. I feel like there's a great responsibility that both my peers and I have to take up.. but I don't feel ready for it.. neither do I see my peers stepping up to take it..

THis leads me to a very sad question.. once this current generation passes... who will step up? Who will defend the faith? who will lead the church and feed Christ's flock till He comes again?...?

Anyway, e-math paper tomorrow.. i'm fine tuning myself, aiming for perfection in that paper. I guess its the only way I can hope to secure an a1 in e-math..

Sighs.. through O lvls.. I feel myself being torn apart.. being strained beyond measure.. my spiritual health has felt that impact.. I now do my QT very rarely.. Sigh..

I guess you guys in sch won't understand what I'm talking about.. nevermind.. just bear with me.. thanks for being my involuntary listening ear.. I guess I feel a little better after pouring out half my heart here.. :)

Alone
Sad
discouraged
delirious

Sigh/.... A-math die liao...

2004-11-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

Feeling: a little disappointed

Sighs.. i spent an hour to finish the a-math paper besides five sub-parts.. And I made fatal mistakes for those five sub-parts... Sigh... I calculated an estimated loss of 20 marks, provided that I do not make any further mistakes... Oh dear,.. I do hope I can still get an a1.. Its about the only subject I ace...

well, I managed to see the Starwars ep3 trailer.. Woot.. Ok.. I'm itching to go see it... Gosh.. I'm gonna storm Mr Lucas' office and demand he give me a copy of however much of the movie they have made so far...

Sigh.. I went for the friday band practice.. Disappointed with how much the band has degraded.. And Mr tan still had the cheek to mention Mr chew, giving the band back to him.,.. man! Being Mr CHew's trusted aide cum confidant(at times), I know only too well he won't want to come back here.. Not only is the pay peanuts, who would want to be paid peanuts to have to clear all the muck mr tan created in this band?! Even I wouldnt want to at the expense of a million dollars..

Sigh.. Why be so angry.. Take it easy. This band has nothing more to do with you. You only used it for a stepping stone. Why bother about its future development? predicting that it will fall and close down within less than 3 years. Seeing that its Cert. of participation is only a matter of time next year.. C'mon.. Its bronze is embarrassing enough...

I declare here and now, that I went for the practice purely because I wanted to orientate myself on the pieces to be played during the Pei Hwa Sec performance. And I'm going to Pei Hwa sec purely because I felt a sense of attachment, being a former student of Pei Hwa primary. I'm going there to just play, and I kinda regret my decision, cuz i'm gonna be part of either a funeral band or a primary sch band... ... But actually, this band sounds like its players are people who don't know how to play an instrument, and are trying to make some noise with the instruments Mr Tan gave them...

Disappointed
Angry
Sad
Alone

woot... e-math so easy.. but p1 only..

2004-11-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

Feeling:ok..

E-math paper 1 was soooooo easy... But I made one STUPID careless mistake... I wrote '-3' altho i knew the ans is '-2'.... cuz suddenly at that qn my mind just lost focus and snapped.. then i wrote '-3', forgetting that it was 3 squares I counted, but the shear factor was '2' in the negative direction.. STUPID>...

Well, as for my a-math tml.. Same thing here... its between A2 and A1... Lets just hope the rest of the island duzn score well, k? So tht I stand a higher chance to get an a1.. lol.. thats like, one of my three only a1s..

ENG paper over!! heee..

2004-11-03T23:45:00.000-08:00

Feeling: OK
Well, my eng paper is over.. I wrote a reflection, albeit fictional.. But it sounded like something that really happened.. Hopefully it catches the examiner's attention..

Well, gotta rest for tml... Tml's math... haha... Anyway, i got my palm changed for one that is as good as new.. Haha.. quite elated with that...

WHEEE!! SWISS AND JAP CAME OUT!!!

2004-11-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

Feeling:Exhillerated

I studied both Swiss Harmony and Jap Industries... And BOTH came out!! WHee! I had the time of my life wasting 5 mins in the SS paper choosing which should I do.. Cuz I studied into detail for both... Well, I just hope I can get a B3 at least for Combined Humanities.... If I can get an A1 better still... That will mean that my dream of getting 6 A1s would be one step closer to reality... All that would lie in between me and it now is.....Chemistry... Sigh..

well, Anglais tml... Non Francais! Je ne pas parlez le Anglais.. parlez vous Francais? err,,,,,..... anyway, Eng paper tml.. I just hope I can do well for this one.... ANd apply the precious techniques the humourous Mr BArton taught us.. Hehe...

Wish me luck...

SS paper tml...

2004-11-01T20:29:00.000-08:00

Feeling:kinda intense..
Listening to:some unknown F.I.R. song....

Sigh.. Feeling kinda intense.... unlike what I visualised myself doing, ritually preparing for tomorrow's battle like a samurai, meditating, training, calming myself, no.. I spent the whole morning sleeping.. ok, i did manage to cover 2/3 of my target syllabus in an hour in the afternoon.. But that's like, the best I can do...

Well, my family is thinking of going to Batam... After o lvls... No thanks.. I've got so many appointments (To badminton, ice skating.. bla bla..).. Well, my mum was trying to entice me with the sea sports they have there, all that.. No thanks... I still don't want.. Ever since young I had to pursue my own adventure.. I always bugged them to bring me out and do something.. Something other than just swimming (Which they bring me all the time)...

Since young, every time I want to do something exotic, out of the ordinary.. Lke Ice skating... They will say the same things which revolves around these 8 words: Duan(4) Jin(1) Duan(4) gu(3) Shou(4) Shang(1) Si(3) Wang(2) (which means to get injured, break bones, pull ligaments, and die...) Sigh.. Every time hear them say the same thing,, about them worried that I would get injured, get paralysed neck down, bla bla... Sick of hearing them say that..

I went ice skating with ZW and co. the last time.. And see? I din even get a scratch... Talk about duan jin duan gu shou shang si wang... duh... I went mountain biking too at bukit timah hill.. same thing tho.. I din get a scratch...

Sheeze.. Now she comes and offers me this.. Nah. no thanks,.. For all I know I go there then she will say the same thing and dun allow me to enjoy all those sea sports..

Well, about the thing at hand.. Tml.. SS paper.. Wah... Nah...
I'm thinking.. I wanna prepare myself well for tomorrow... Its one of the four papers I fear most now,... Apart from CHem 1&2, and geog... hahha...

Sigh.. wish me the best...
wishing all the best to all those taking o lvls too.. hee..

sighs.. feeling down./...

2004-10-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

feeling:down, as mentioned...

Well, when Germ's feeling down, somehow, he's got legions of friends who would go and support him.. well, abit different for me.. mebbe Germ's case (the recent one) was really big... Sigh.. I feel disappointed somehow..

Disappointed in Chee Ming... Disappointed in someone i once called my friend.. Disappointed in him totally.. Worst, he's obsessed with cheryl.. wat the hell.. one of either of them are difficult enuf to handle.. Now with the two of them combined... poor shi hua... I really don't wanna be in her shoes.... Having to oppose the two of them although being the clarinet section leader...

Looks like this band is beyond hope.. Unless we have new blood.. (now you all understand what new blood is? No? go figure) well, unless somewhere, out of the blue, someone steps out and takes the helm of the band.. someone capable... someone experienced...(with no intention of self-flattery) like me... However, its not meant to be.. I guess I failed on my part... failed to grasp leadership of this band.. I'm disappoiinted.. disappointed..

Nah.. too bored to post any more... O lvl revision seems to go down the drain.. cant focus!

I am gonna add in MP3 downloads at the sidebar.. go look.. hee

phy prac....

2004-10-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Feeling:ok

Phy prac went quite ok.. although my body seemed to shiver a bit from the hunger i faced...Shoulda eaten more before going.. lol..

Well, I saw Chee Ming dating Cheryl.. Well, had been suspecting for quite some time that there was some chemistry going on between the two of them.. ANyway, it was confirmed today.. However, I found it rather surprising(much to my surprise..)because both Chee ming and Cheryl(in my knowledge and in accurate judgment) are not mature enough for dating...

Here i'm torn apart.. A part of me says that I'm disappointed in Chee Ming.. Well, I ultimately regret choosing Chee Ming and standing up for him, resulting in him being chosen as the drum major when ultimately he duzn give a damn about the band, its standard, blah blah... I'm disappointed in him as I was with the previous batch's leaders. To think I have done so much(although I am without a official position or post) and not to receive an a1 for cca(I got a B3 because of the stupid way they total CCA points... they take only the best score in four years for Participation, Achievement and Bonus... so although my raw total would beat every and anybody, this totalling system caused me to only get a b3).. I'm so disappointed in the education system too in this aspect.. Not acknowledging someone who has given his sweat and blood in contribution, while here, ppl like chee ming and his seniors get all the points while 'eating snake' and people like me(who are slowly dying out) are trying hard to try to slow the decline (and hence closedown) of the bands (Islandwide, although the effort is individual)...

I guess I've seen lotsa office politics in this area.. I'm tired of this.. Tired of having contributed without having any recognition (or even satisfaction for the matter) of any sort.. i shoulda been smarter, just lying low...

Part of me says i'm concerned about Chee Ming.. Nah.. i don't give a damn about him now.. Now to him, my friendship is just happy go lucky.. Here when the weather is fine.. Gone when the storms come... I just don't understand.. I try to be a friend to people.. But very few people actually reciprocate...

Part of me says i'm jealous of him.. Well, i've been wanting a girlfriend.. To some extents trying to get one.. Nah.. maybe i'm just not that much a ladies man as he is.. Maybe its just that i'm not able to attract girls of my type (although i've been able to attract quite a few who are not).... Well, i guess the tough, athletic girls that I like just won't like me.. Nah.. I'm not mature enough yet.. Dun think about it... lol..

Sigh.. Memories flood back.. Memories that I hate to remember.. Blissful memories, nonetheless.. But memories I hate to remember because I can never re-live those days.. Those days Mr Anthony Chew were around... Those days CCK winds prospered.. Those days everyone looked up to me to take on the leadership of hte band and carry on the good work.. I'm so confident I can do it.. Just that I've never been given the chance.. A real chance at leadership.. There again, my blame goes to the MOE.. in this aspect.. since not everyone is given a fair chance...

Memories come back.. THat familiar smell of the band room.. the stale dried saliva smell... the rattling air-con... The percussion drummers jamming there with skillful tempo after practice.. The sight of Daowei or Panda(Jiawei.. Both cornet players) spraying the HAZEL air freshener.. The smelly smell of the air fresheners that flood the room... Anneson's smile and his music... Anneson's warm voice... THe sound of the rest of the flute section... My juniors asking me to help them keep their stands.. Mr Chew's teasing about me being such a good senior(helping them to keep stands)... Sigh.. Sometimes I don't wish to remember all these.. My battle wounds.. My pride and honour.. Sometimes I just wish I dont remember all these... So much laughter and tears there.. In that very band room... alll nothing now.. All just become a crappy Yuan Ching band now.. the glory, honour and prestiege of CCK Winds.. Nah.. nothing now..

Nah.. I just wanna stop thinking of all those... Blissful memoirs they are.. Yet sad to remember... I'm just like a prince of a rich nation, now reduced to just a beggar.. Country torn by war... nothing.. Nothing but my body and soul left.. Sad.. Just sad..

Anyway, I poured my heart out here.. Mebbe if.. Just if someone from band reads this.. Perhaps he/she might understand why I hate Yuan Ching Band so much... All my efforts down the drain.. Nah.. I thought....dreamed that I could bring YCS band from a bronze medalist to silver medals.. By implementing protocol.. By introducing warmups and techniques.. No.. I'm all alone fighting this battle.. None of the three generations of leaders(the 87-89 batch) listened to me at all.. I make a prediction:YCS Band will close down within three years.. Now it will be less than my prediction the last time... Less than three years.. Now with Ms Chong gone, it will be less than three years.. If Ms Chong were around, the band still could survive for three years.. Because knowing her, she would probably work to try to preserve the band.. No.. Not now.. Not since the VP of Tanglin Sec is coming to be our principal.. If anyone would heed my warning.. Nah.. its too late.. Too late for even if Mr CHew were to step in to try to correct the situation.. Although he probably won't even if begged.. and probably never will..

Thank you for being my listening ear,.. I kinda feel better after pouring my heart out.. Thanks for bearing with my insane ramblings... haha.. thanks for reading tho

phy prac tml...

2004-10-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

feeling: sian..

Jus hope to find enuf ppl to go ice skating.. i'm really going crazy over it...
Well, i jus found a page teaching you ice skating.. But as I went into the more intricate techniques, i couldn't understand at all.. Haiz.. I tried to do the forward outward edge, but i fell flat on my chest(ow...) Sigh.. now Germ thinking of backing out... he thinking of not going ice skating.. sian lar.... sighs..

phy prac tml.. Sigh.. I guess I have to be extra careful with my decimal points and stuff.. Have to get full marks for the practical in order to even hope to get an a1 for phy... Man.. phy is my forte.. If i cant even get a1 for it, die liao lor...

sigh.. jus bored.. jus depressed.. lost all fighting spirit.. dying.. just dying... waiting for this year's YF camp...going crazy..going insane...going ice skating at all costs...

sigh....memories.. I HATE memories...

2004-10-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

Feeling:glum

I kinda hate memories.. Good memories make you die to wanna re-live them.. Bad ones make you sniff and cry.. Either way, remembering isn my cup of tea...

I had quite a lot of time to do reflections... Lotsa time, I realise I'm so careless with the things I do, hurting people or getting them into trouble without knowing, although purely without intention... Sometimes its my big mouth...

Well, I have various weaknesses.. Like in CS, my weakness is against an arctic-using opponent.. However, I have another weakness that makes me weaker than an average player who is afraid of actic-users: My big mouth.. Sigh.. I tend to tell the whole world I'm so weak against arctic that the whole world knows and starts to use arctic..

Why can't I stop wanting attention? Sometimes, I just want attention so badly I go and do stupid things just to get it.. And yet, I don't wanna look like i want attention..But I feel so... helpless and desperate... Wanting attention... So.... argh.. nvm..

Another 10 days to o lvls liao.. got to go study... byezzz...

Chem O lvl practical...

2004-10-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Feeling: a little lovesick..
Listening to: Wo Men De Ai (F.I.R... or did i get it right.. cool track..)

I WAN GO ICE SKATING>>>>>

Anyway, i might get the full mark for titration.. i managed to get 25.4 on the first try..I did a second time for protocol.. Stupid me.. I prepared two flasks for titration. Then I used flask 'a' to get the first reading... After that, while i was doing the second reading, i absent-mindedly used flask 'a' and put in the sulphuric acid and KI and continued titrating... (the endpoint colour of the liquid is colourless... as is the colour of solution P before adding sulphuric acid and KI)well, the solution did not change colour... Because the 'solution P' (or rather, the liquid in the flask which i had titrated for the first reading) in the flask 'a' now did not displace iodine from the KI.. lol...

Well, i spent quite a long time on the calculations after the titration.. Thta ultimately caused me to lose time... because i did not have time for the final answer in the QA... I ultimately lost at least a mark from there.. Plus a mark for wrong observations... well, i probably can only barely pass the QA section (50%) ... hopefully i can get full marks for titration.. so that i can get 75% for practical.. and hopefully it will pull up my total in chem.. I jus panicked at the end of the paper, and the last qn was 'name the anion in S'... I had only 30 secs left.. so i wrote copper and handed up.. lol... anion.. copper.. bleah!!!! COPPER IS A CATION STUPID CLEMENT!! (oops.. dun tell clement i called him stupid.. he might just hammer me tonight... heeee...)

Anyway, Mrs Teo heard of wat I said, and said "You should hear what Jun Jie did.." but she refused to say, saying, " you go ask him"... then I heard from Desmond that he asked for devarda's alloy (to test for nitrates..) BUT the anion was sulphate!!!!! Devarda's alloy was not provided BECAUSE the anion WILL NOT BE NITRATE!!! besides, we are supposed to deduce from the tests 1-4 with all the observations we penned down that it is sulphate.. so he used the nitrate test, somehow, it registered as positive, so he wrote down nitrates.. loll... trust the crappy ol' JJ to write that.. haha.. I got a good haearty laugh at his expense... lol.. so the poor examiners had to go to the extra expense to get him his devarda's alloy.. haha... which was not provided, obviously because it was not needed.. hahahahahahahahaha....

Well, I woke up early today, played on the computer until 8am, then i took short snoozes until 9 plus.. then I took my own sweet time to start preparing to go for the practical (which we had to report at 1055).. To cut a long story short, rishil forgot his entry proof... hahahhaha.. he ran like a bullet home and got it. But not without a good earful from his mom.. haha.. the rest of the day was uneventful....

Well, I need God's strength to hold me close to Him.. I feel myself drifting from Him.. Drifting slowly but surely.. Do keep me in prayer.. I don't know why. Its spiritual lethargy.. Lethargy to read His word.. I don't want to fall away. I DONT WANT TO!!!! I don't wanna fall away.. not like my friends who have.. Scary to see how they have changed.. I DONT WANT TO FALL AWAY!!... I covet your prayers as I go through struggle after struggle..

well, there's an additional tidbit about someone that keene told me about... well, i dunnoooo... but anyway, i'm gonna investigate.. if it ends up something thats ok to be public, i'll probably make it public.. haha...

I WAN GO ICE SKATE!!!!!!

2004-10-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

feeling:crazy.....

I WAN GO ICE SKATE!!! I WAN GO ICE SKATE!!! JEREMY!! HOW COULD U?!?!?! GO ICE SKATE WITH CHIOBU NV ASK ME ALONG!!!suan me liddat... haiz.....

I wan go ice skate...... haiz... i going crazy over ice skating.. although its so dam ex....

Well, i'm gonna spend my hard-earned freeedom ice skating... after the o lvls... wheeeeeee.... well,... i hope i can find the cash to finance that... lol... I hope to find ppl to go with me too.. or else will be very boring... Anyone wants to go with me? .. ? just type in the comments or tag me on the tagboard :)

I learned how to do the high-velocity turning (arc) on roller-blades... hopefully its just as easy to do on ice... well, i also do hope that the technique for stopping i have mastered on ground can somehow be applicable on ice too.. hee... (and when i do a sudden stop in front of anyone, they will be sprayed all over with ice chippings.. come along.. u'll see.. heeeee)

Anyone here thinks I'm crazy?... wheee! I think so too... heee....

(crazy clement.. dun tell him i called him crazy, ok?)

Reformat... for like, the seventh time./...

2004-10-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

feeling:diao..

Its like, the seventh time or so that my dad reformatted my com... Sheeze... he keeps installing stupid useless stuff.. and when the com craps up, he blames it on the games i install (which work fine with other ppls coms..)

Too pissed to write anymore...

Yay! got my tag!

2004-10-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

Feeling:over the moon...

Well, I got my [Xpr] tag officially.. and I'm now an XPR member.. whee... That means that the reserve slots in the XPR server are accessible to me... No mroe getting kicked... lol..

Sigh.. Sadly, i have badly neglected my QT.. I hope to do my QT again tonight.. I had come home, played for awhile, studied for a solid hour (never happened in the past year and a half..) and then ate dinner and am back on the com,... Well, I do hope this is a start.. I hope to increase my study time to 1.5 hours.. I have only 19 days left. Man.. Thats a lot.. i have to finish the chem papers within 3 days and ask Mrs Teo for more.. I just pray for more discipline to do that.. haha..

Well, I upon reflection, i feel rather hypocritical.. With my mouth, i proclaim the name of my Lord. I lift my praises and supplication to Him.. Sad thing is, with that same mouth, I gossip, i swear, I curse... I call myself a Christian.. But I struggle so hard to do my QT... Well, I do hope this is a sign of the christian struggle being evident in my life. One who is a Christian but does not struggle is probably an apostate.. Thats a very fearful thought.. Man, infidel, at the hands of an angry God.. What terrifying things this angry, although merciful God will do to this man who wilfully sins... The thought that God will leave me and let me drop to my death like the mother eagle its eaglet after it fails to fly really makes me shudder... The thought that God will one day give up on me is really scary. yes, God has boundless mercy, but did you know that this mercy sometimes has a limit? Like Pharoah, who refused to let the Israelites go... The Bible says at first that 'pharoah hardened his heart'... and it keeps saying it each time Moses approached him.. However, later on, it says 'God hardened pharoah's heart'.. which signified God giving up on him. Scary...

Anyway, I have thought of it.. I'm probably going to JJC, with my sch frens, also because Sherman is there.... I dun think i wanna go PJC(cuz i'm afraid of meeting the same kind of idiots that we have living around CCK...) or Innova(hmm.. someone's going there, along with mosta the class and frens.) Well, the rest is classified... lol...

Sighs... lonely.. sian...

2004-10-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Sian.. cannnot play...

Study until siao liao.. Actually, i din even study,.. dun even hv the mood to study.. Sigh... Freaked out...

Nyah... I guess the time after o lvls, i'll go totally crazy.. Saddening thing is, if i dun manage to push my chem to a b3 and my Humanities too, sigh.. I'll go totallly crazy playing, then get really diao when i receive my results...

Man! everyone is expecting me to get an a1 for english.. BUt i guess I should aim for an A2.. I somehow am unable to break the cliches in compos, and am unable to pick out main points for Compres.. Dang... All this drags my grade down.. And i have similar scores to my other friends... in spite of having relatively excellent language command..

Sighs.. Sometimes I jus wish I can chant some magic spell that will make Ms Tan shut up.... She can be very irritating... especially when I'm doing math... Nag nag nag nag..... Sigh....

CD-R drive up!!

2004-10-08T05:50:00.000-07:00

Feeling:ok./...

CD-r drive got installed.. can use ler... ^^.. I also got my new calculator.. But best of all, I have found new functions of both my calculators.. I have decided to bring them both into the o lvl exam hall.. I wanna have the best of both worlds... hee...

Well, I'm supposed to be playing CS with ZW and co., but my dad is doing some updating on my com now, along with a mirror image.. so i guess i have to put that off to later in the night,.. hopefully soon, because i just can't wait anymore....to be the best free fragged in the whole online cs.. lol.,...

Nahhh...

2004-10-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

Feeling:sian.. nth to do...

Sigh.. Today was a rather sian day.. Besides having played CS:condition zero for awhile, nothng much.... Sigh.. Din go for the night study prog.. but din manage to make myself study at all either... disappointment...Mebbe I should go the next time Ms Quah or Mrs Teo is on duty..., then I can ask them to help me for chem or SS....

Sigh.. got 18 for L1R5... that means if i wanna get to the sch of my dreams, my eng has to get a miraculous A1, and I have to miraculously improve my C.H and chem from c5 and c6 to a1... Man! I slogged so hard for five years in CCA, and due to the STUPID way they add up the points (take the year with the best P, A, and B and total it up) i only get a B3 even though I worked so much harder than anyone else did(in CCA..)... Man! so unfair lor!!!

CONDITION 'BLUE'

2004-10-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

feeling:Happy.. Got CS:condition zero

I have just got my CS condition zero.. I'm so happy..lol.. finally can play online with ZW and co. ... Well, I know its supposed to be condition Zero.. But i cant help recalling JJ calling it Condition Blue.. lol... of course, he was not spared the ridicule from the rest of us...

Well, I think we carried the joke with mabel too far... Feeling a little bad now... Well, you see, she was so desperate to change sheep(now as to who it is, it is top secret..) and she kept bugging keene and I about changing it.. (I was unwilling, you see, because I have a sheep who is likely to be very responsive i.e. responds to all my letters... ) Well, Keene and I got a little pissed, and we decided to change our nick to 'NO CHANGE OF SHEEP!!' and flood her with tht same sentance... Welllll.... kinda feeling bad now... Sighs

Started revision abit.. Pretty satisfied about that... Started doing CHem TYS... Rather happy about that... Hopefully, I would be able to continue.. I heard MS Quah is going to be on duty tml nite for night study in sch.. I'm thinking of going and seeking her help with my source based... my source-based question answering is very weak, although my structured essay qns are quite ok...

dang! my CDkey got stolen...

2004-10-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

feeling:yi chang huan xi yi chang kong...

I asked Mr Tan about the arielons and the tail flaps of an aircraft, and about how they make the aeroplane descend or ascend.. Apparently, my paper plane experiment has shown theory to be wrong.. This part is still rather confusing, but there could be underlying reasons why the paper plane did not follow the theory. Perhaps it's too light? I've seen regular commercial planes following this theory.. oh boy. this is complex...

Well, the funny thing about today is... First I started out from school, headed to the (pirated) cd shop, so that I could buy CS and play it offline. I was sorely disappointed when i discovered that it was closed. Then I remembered that there was another at Jurong East. Been there.. Closed too.. Just as I popped by popular, I decided to go in and take a look at the price of the CD (Zhenwei said they only sell the 39.90 copies there... THe 19.90 copies he said were only sold in SimLim..)... To my surprise, I found the 19.90 copies sold here.. Elated, I bought it and brought it home.. which brings me to the second part of my story....

I brought it home, and tried to no avail to register my Steam account, finally realising someone could have stolen my cd-key and used it to register his.. I was so pissed, because to report it, u need to take a picture of everything u bought plus receipt... and I din hav a camera!... Then it dawned upon me that I can use the scanner (after somewhat.. very long).. and I got super estatic again... lol/...

Sigh.. I jus hope they settle the cdkey problem for me... otherwise i will be very miserable.. :(.. I spent a quarter of this month's money on it already.. cant afford to do that again.. unless i wanna go hungry for the rest of this month...

counterstrike

2004-10-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling:eager

Now trying to download CS with a download accelerator.. Sincerely hope that it works.. and its the full thing, not JUST an addon... The site din say much more than 'full version'.. so wat the hell.. jus believe it lah!...

Man! I hate the way Ms Tan treats us.. Like as though we have no integrity. come on! She makes mistakes so regularly in marking minor tests, and we report it just as regularly.. Surely she should know we have enough integrity so as not to try to alter our answers when we receive back our own papers.. But no.., when we received out prelim math papers back, she told us to put our bags and everything else at the side, leaving only a calculator and pencil (bo-liao..).. that is a direct insult to my integrity!!

Sigh.. okay... I kinda hate it when people probe too much into my personal things... But to an extent, sometimes I myself leak out things to make them start probing-albeit by accident.. Sigh.. whatever...

End-of-year activity for us duzn seem like its going to be as much fun as I expected(sigh...)... well, at least, its better than nothing... Well, I would have liked a poolside party or some swimming carnival with it(like i wrote for my eng prelim functional writing) but... wat the heck! Anyway, I feel rather out of place.. I don't seem to be able to offer active suggestions like most of the ppl in the committe are.. I feel rather bad, because I just...can't... I wish I can take an active part, to make the whole planning process easier for everyone(divided workload).. But.. i don't seem to be able to contribute.. sigh..

Well, I'm still sticking to my "i'm not playing my flute" policy. I hate the things that come with it.. I regret i cannot carry on the tradition. My mentor was Anneson... I learnt mosta my skills from him.. By rights, I'm supposed to find a junior(sec1) when I'm sec 4 and impart all I have to him/her.. Disappointing... I can't find any who is worthy.. That was one of the reasons why i wanna stop playing the flute. Also, not many people appreciate...

i guess i might join debate in JC.. I MIGHT choose to join band if i get into a jc for the first three months.. Perhaps to see if there is a possibility i will change my mind.. Maybe not.. Unless I find a superior band system and a flute section that is better, I would probably join air rifle or debate and quit band after the first three months... I guess I would like to improve my latent interest (and maybe talent) in marksmanship... Debate, probably just to improve my english.. lol

YAYXXXX!! New com!!!

2004-10-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Estatic

Yay! got my new com yesterday.. its speed is so fast i can say goodbye to lags! Whee.... I started playing JK2:Jedi outcast... Kinda got hooked to it... lol...

Mabel and Keene are so funny.. Nah.. I promised them both to keep their individual secrets (they are slightly related though.. I mean the secrets)... So I wnt say..lol...

Lotsa things i can do with this new com... For example, play shogun:total war against my friend sherman.. And compete whose battlefield tactics are supreme... lol..

Well, got a miserable 17 for my prelims... Serves me right for not studying at all... got a1 for phy and double math, c5 for chem and combined humanities, and finally, b4 for eng(man! Ms Chee has super-strict marking... But kinda grateful for that...) Well, now the prob is, which JC can I go to for first three mths? I have considered aeronautical engineering after enquiring from Wen Yao(ooo.. my long lost buddy...)but still, gotta seek the LORD's will about it...

My QT and christian walk is in shambles,.. I guess its the first and foremost thing I have to attend to before I attempt to start full swing my revision for the remaining one month...

farewell.. to my flute...

2004-09-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

I have decided now... I'll probably not play the flute again. Not at least within the next year.. Probably not in the rest of my life.. I just might change my mind.. no.. Too many painful memories.. Inclusive of wat i mentioned in the previous post...

Not worth my pursuit.. Everything shattered.. I have changed so much since i entered ycs band. I have totally changed the genre of music i listen to altogether.. Now, i don't think its worth it.. Playing the flute anymore... People i'll end up associating. I have yet to meet a flautist who is my peer or junior and yet better than me. Nobody seems to make an effort...

Inaccurate, horrendous intonation, shitty sound.. No. I've heard enough of it... Enough! my ears will hear no more torment. I officially have aulophobia(phobia of flutes) from this day forth.

I mean it.

...Sian day agian...s-l-e-e-p-i-n-g... zzzZZZzzz

2004-09-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

feeling:Sian

Sighs.. If only i can just go online at anytime i like.. Sometimes I'm just so sian.. Sighs.. I slept through the afternoon today... Cuz i knew if i stayed awake and watch HSDS one more time (selected scenes) Then it would cause me more pain..

I kinda feel alone. Alone in my thoughts, feelings passions.... Everything that other people pursue all seem to gain some extent of attention from their friends.. Nah.. Not me... Sometimes, I psychologically check myself and end up realising I'm trying so hard to attract attention while not wanting to look as though I am attracting attention...

Sometimes, I just feel hurt by the comments people pass... Something i'm good in.. Either they are jealous they cant achieve as much, or they are jealous i'm getting some measure of attention, although someone enjoying it to a small extent.., Like my skill in my instrument... Ever since sec 1.. Ever since i started, I have surpassed everyone i know (besides my mentor, Anneson) in the flute, Being capable of faster, more intriguing scales than them, posessing a better sound quality, alll even compared to my seniors...

Everyone was just jealous. To them, every time I played, I was 'showing off'. Can't stand it. Now, even when I was teaching Lydia, Then I played, Some characters totally punctured my stability by saying 'although you play it very nicely, i don't know how to appreciate'. FINE! you can't play my instrument to MY standard, or even play it at all, then SHUT UP if you don't have other better comments to pass!!

Sometimes, I just wish the world in general took more effort to appreciate things others do or CAN do. I just wish there weren't so much jealousy, where everyone was just fighting for himself or herself to become the belle or shuaige in school... Or to be the next pop star.. Sometimes, these people just stifle me.. I just feel myself left with nowhere to express myself. People just have to learn to be polite, and smile and praise despite the fact that they are not able to appreciate.

Art pieces? I'm not an artist myself. Not someone who appreciates themes in art. But still, I know how to praise when someone has drawn something nice. Music? yeah. I know how to praise a good music piece, or a good passage played by a good musician. But something everyone here has to learn, is to praise sometimes, even if the musician is not so good. Encouragement here. Perhaps what spurred me on while learning the flute is this teacher in charge. Mr Ong Wooi H'sien. I still remember. He saw me with my flute in band practice, and he asked me where was my senior(Anneson). Then he said just as he left, "As I walked up the stairs, I could hear someone playing the flute. Was that you?" "Yes." I replied. "Not bad. I must admit its good playing for someone who has entered for three months."

Why can't people just praise a little more? or even just SHUT UP if they have nothing better to say? If my playing was bad, I don't mind criticism. I take criticism constructively. But if you don't have constructive criticism to give, only destructive criticism, so that you can 'regain' that little bit of lost attention, then SHUT UP. I'm pissed!

Its hard though. Hard for me to swallow humble pie. Hard for me to apologise at times. Hard for me to accept certain things.I don't understand why people these days just care about themselves, while feelings of others are just secondary. Sometimes, I admit I'm like that. I wish it were easier to control my actions sometimes. Sometimes I offend in the process of giving constructive criticism. My pride is hard to control... Sigh.. Keep me in prayer, those who share my faith... I wish so much to change.. Into someone more mature, someone more understanding... Just on the whole someone more pleasant....

Phy paper...Sian day...

2004-09-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Happy.. tht I can finally come online...

Been a rather boring day... I spent the morning doing my phy prac. paper, and CME paper(some stupid paper that dosen't deserve attention) and the rest of the morning playing soccer.. Went home at noon and calculated the time to go roller blading (with the ulterior intention of intercepting a person on the way home)... My plot failed.. Utterly.. When it rained.. sheeze...

I spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping, after which waking up for a brief moment to go blading...Sigh.. Bored the whole day.. Just disappointed that I had a whole free day to my disposal..... Only to be limited by being unable to go online to play runescape or do something like that..... Germ played me out by going home to sleep (instead of original plan to play badminton... Lol...)....

Sighs.. Started feeling lovesick again.. i would have watched HSDS all over again if not for the fact that i have been doing that for the past two days.. lol... Jus got rather disappointed.. There are four girls (or mebbe more...) after me.. While in total, the girl I like prob will nvr like me at all.. sigh...Nah... I shouldn't be so girl-crazy... Although sometimes I jus wish i jus had a girlfriend...

Sighs.. Boring day..

YAYX... net up again!!

2004-09-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Euphoric and elated..

My internet's working agian.. at long last!! Have left my blog alone for some time, but I now get to post again....YAYXXXXXX!!!

Well, today was craziness.. Chem prac paper lasted till only nine plus.. After that, I went home, spent an hour watching up selected scenes on HSDS(for the third time, i guess..) and spent the rest of the time sleeping.. I expected to watch the police story 2 with Jeremy(germ) only at four, since the earliest was 2, but he wouldn have finished school yet.. But to my surprise, he rang me up at 1.15 telling me he had been dismissed from sch.. So we ended up catching the 2.00 show...

Great film, tho.. Rather emotional.. I got rather disgusted at the way the 'gangsters' dealt with the police team early in the show.. capturing them, miaming them, then hanging them up.. and when Insp Wing(Jackie Chan) Reached that area, they used their lives to gamble with him.. Cruel.. I was really put off by that..

Rather sad too.. The leader of the bad guys (five of them in total.. i forgot wats the actor's name for joe, the leader of them..) was the son of a police superintendant of another area in HK, then he(the character) was abused by his faterh(the police supt.) in childhood. When he grew up in such a rich family, he joined up with his friends and they went around robbing banks. Not for the cash. For the fun of it. They even awarded points to each other for things like each police officer shot down. Insanity... However, the movie has a rather emotional note.. I would reccommend it to any movie goer.

Anyway, I made up with my dad regarding the internet. I did use a keylogger to try and access the password. Although doing this for a reason (so that i can have access to the net anytime i needed it and not be restricted to the time when my parents are at home) I was wrong in doing it.. It was a sin to do such a thing, and I admit my mistake.. Well, its good that i finally found courage to make it up to my dad.. I guess the father-son relationship is improving.. We used to be more distant in the past..

I also do hope to start full-time revision soon.. I guess i really need to settle a lot of problems in my life. One problem is my relationship with God. I need to get right with God right now. I need to get rid of my pride. Its my biggest downfall. I need to settle so many things.. My room is a warzone littered with papers and books.. It kinda shows the state of my emotions and mind now.. But i do hope i can clear things up soon.. Do keep me in prayer. I covet them...

Woohoo..

2004-09-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Average

If only the 'O's could be as easy as the prelims.. the prelim paper for geog and SS were relatively easy.. For Eng, I think i did quite ok too.. Now my worries are almost over.. The rest of the prelims won't be any obstacle after I've taken my Chem.. Hmmm...

Well, the First three months for me are almost secured for me in an average JC.. But i'm still worried for the 'O's... haven't started active study yet. However, I will NOT admit I'm stressed. I won't have entertained the thought and self-pity myself for being stressed.. although I AM burnt out... lol...

Well, got physics and E-math paper tml.. Its an ultimate test of my total endurance and mental stamina.. I'm planning to use them both as revision papers. To learn from them, but only allow myself to skeem through the syllabus. To see how much I can capture. Sighs.. I sacrificed one year for all this. One year for better grades, a better chance into JC, leading into a better chance in the U and thus a better chance to go into teaching. I guess I take after my mother. Perhaps just in the part where she has the passion to teach..

Anyway, one main thing i'm concerned about is..hmm... getting to know some chiobu in JC? hmm... i havent been into a relationship before.. Tempted to do so, cuz there are currently four girls after me (as known to me)... However, they are all not up to my standard.. haha... Hmm.. what makes me think I'm up to the standard of some girl in JC? hmm good qn.. I don't know.. lol... I'm just going girl-crazy.. But my ultimate wish is to go to the same JC as SOMEBODY.. Hmm.. the rest is classified and if i tell u more, i have to silence you... lol.. u know what I'm talking abt rite?

Ooh.. start of prelims...

2004-09-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

feeling:outta place...

Well, prelims have started.. Man.. lemmie tell u a big secret.. I just started studying for geog test this morning, just barely minutes before taking it... haha.. Well, I just hope to pass.. Can't hope for much with Mdm Ow teaching.

Now I just wish i can Bi Guan Xiu Lian (train in seclusion). It seems that this is the most effective method for me. Now what the teachers are doing do not seem to cater very much to me. Ok, perhaps except for what Ms Chee and Mrs Teo are doing for Eng and Chem...

Today was rather crazy, writing pages and pages for geog, and doing likewise for eng paper 1 which came right after.. And Lydia went in that 'fail la.. write outta point la.. bla bla..' all over again.. when the story she wrote was impeccable.. duh...

Sighs.. Pictures only seem to screw up my blog totally.. I guess i have to remove some of them for now.. haiz...

piccies... haha

2004-09-19T01:04:00.000-07:00

feeling: Generally ok

Haiz.. Geog prelims tomorrow..
haven't really studied for it.. Hell, I don't even know what Mdm Ow has been doing for the past year. It seems that every Mdm Ow I meet in my entire life are geog teachers, and each are equally bitchy.. ok.. sorry.. There is ONE Mdm Ow who was my science teacher in Pri Sch... haha.. But still as bitchy...

Well, I just hope that I can fully utilise the remaining six weeks for my 'O's... Its not very far away, and this is the wrong year for me to have burnt out and stuff... I guess i just have to grit my teeth and start working hard...

Mabel was awfully funny the other day.. i asked her what her level in runescape was and she said "90+".. but ended up, she was only about lv 11 and I had to keep defending her from the scorpions as we were fishing in Al Kharid.. haha.. Ironic..

Well, I'm a bit disappointed. In my life, I made two friends whom i thought would be my best friends at two different points of time. However, both are now rather distant from me, but worse still, both have fallen away. Its sad, especially when someone falls away and nobody really cares. In the case of Sherman(one of the two), There's barely anyone else besides me to talk him round. In the case of Sam Goh, however, he had a whole lot of attention(which I strongly believe, especially now, that he has been trying to get). It's sad that people who fall away are my friends. Sadder still that besides me, nobody else cares.

Back to Status watchers. I don't want to believe that our whole church is made up of them. But one characteristic common to them is that they only care about themselves, their own popularity(hence they mix only with the popular who are in other words, rich, handsome, blah blah) and not much about people who don't have many people to talk to. Perhaps its because of these status watchers that these people fall away. Sam Goh fell away partly because besides myself, barely anyone talks to him. However, when he attended an orthodox church, he felt so welcome there. Why must this be so?!?! Why are the unloveable not loved?! Even amongst us Christians, or at least, those of us who call ourselves 'Christians'?

(21/9/04 pic was removed. Anyone know how to post pics on blogs without screwing it up?)

yawnz

2004-09-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

feeling:Tired

Sleepy morning today.. Sleepy saturday morning.. I stayed up till 4 the previous night trying to save my skin.. Well, anyway, mission accomplished, but i woke up only at 10.. i HATE waking up late... sigh...

However, did accomplish things... I managed to clear and sort the growing pile of worksheets and papers and stuff in my bag, crushing and throwing almost half of them.. heehee... At least now I'm more organised and more set to start revising.. I just do hope i start.. Anyway, I watched Gundam Seed.. In this episode, the Tiger(a commander somehting....) died in a battle with kira and the archangel.. It was a pretty touching scene, because someone more shrewd than that would have just fled, but this commander stayed and died... after ordering his troops to retreat... in a sense, he got my respect...

well, prelims on monday.. starting with geog and eng... Haha.. no fears for english.. cant do much about it anyway.. but as for geog... sighs.. I'm planning to do all i can, mebbe getting a pass or 60% at best.. Then I'll have to get like, full marks for SS so that I can ace my combined humanities? Haha... Rather impossible.. I HATE humanities.. and I will NEVER take econs in JC.. NEVER!!!

I guess if I cant rally myself to start studying yet, I'll just have to take the prelims as a revision. Somehow, I find that I revise better if there are tests.. As in, I use the tests to revise.. Hmmm.. Taking homework is definitely not my cup of tea, but I think right now, if I were to be able to choose, curriculum time should be fully used for test after test for me, and time at home should be at my own disposal, where i divide it into two, playing for one half and studing by myself on the other.. I guess exam stress and pressure is just the right type of pressure for me to learn. After all, i learn best from mistakes made in an exam(From my own self-analysis)... However, I am the type who HATES homework. Maybe i should be a teacher. I don't suppose besides marking scripts, a teacher has any homework? Plotting the lesson perhaps?

Yeahx!! Friday!!

2004-09-17T01:05:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Euphoric

Friday is naturally my favourite day.. Best part is.. can go home extra early!!!
However, this friday is even better... I reached home and found out that my dad didn't sign out of the net the night before.. so I had all the liberty I wanted to access.. haha...

Today was also rahter puzzling.. A spotcheck was done on our class, and as soon as I realised what was happening, i tried to hide my PALM.. However, Ms Tan spotted me, but surprisingly, besides saying "Clement What are you doing?" She did not do much more.. Then as Mr Chew and Mdm Wong came around, I decided to surrender it, upon seeing Desmond and the rest surrender theirs.. The funny thing that happened was, Mr Chew picked up my PALM(on the desk) And said, "What's this?.. (pause) Oh.. its a palm.." then he put it down, back on my table.. surprisingly, it didn't get confiscated.. After this ordeal, i was rather shocked.. but I have decided, no matter how useful the palm is as a learning tool, I think safest is only to bring it on selected days..

Well, prelims are just around the corner.. and I still am not even in studying mode... I just wish I were more focused... Yeah, Des was right. Abstainence is the only way to cut down... However, to abstain is in itself, very hard to do...

I guess I really need the Lord to hold me together.. These days are really difficult.. I really need to renew my want to study.. O lvls are only 46 away.. Scary... sigh... Do keep me in your prayers...

haha.. cleared time up

2004-09-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

Feeling: Average

Haha.. cleared the time marking up... Now it won't show wierd timings for when i posted the blog...

Was playing around with macros and had a hard time programming them.. Still can't get them to automate mining in runescape.. but what the heck

I do hope to start revision today.. sigh.. only 47 days left.. not much time, and I'm still not in 'revision' mode.. sigh...

Math class totally rocks! (because I can really sleep.. haaaha!!) Its just so boring and what my math teacher does during math class totally does not do me any good.. sighs...

Just going to TRY to start revision(Heck my monitor.. its going crazy.. can't see clearly... dun feel like saying anymore.. haha)

sheeze... Wasting time...

2004-09-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

feeling:average

Sheesh.. i'm beginning to feel that staying home and studying is ultimately more effective. I'm practically wasting time sitting through math lessons. Ms tan will just go through the papers. effective? Yeah. for some. perhaps the slightly weaker ones. But for ppl like me who can manage, self study is the best help.

Having grown to this stage, i have found that its harder to accept information from a teacher who is just feeding it in. I have discovered that for myself, I need to do my own analysing, my own thinking before I actually grasp it. True, I'm Audial-visual, but I guess maybe its just ms tan.. who just cannot teach without going the rote method... Her style of teaching is so route, so much so that I just cannot absorb any more than the surface pertaining to the topic... I HATE ms tan...

Well, I just hope God will hold me together and help me stand up again.. i need that strength from him.. Do keep me in prayer, those who are Christian...

OOH! I HATE ms tan!!!!

2004-09-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Crapped out, yet rather tickled...
Playing:Runescape

Today I got rather crapped out because Ms tan gave back our math paper. Hell, it had 8 questions and we only had an hour to do.. Seriously short of half an hour.. I did badly, of course, and was very crapped out because she kept calling out my name to expose my careless mistakes and embarrass me. CRap!!!

Anyway, the funny part was that we(the guys sitting behind) were talking about wuxia novels, about Zhang Wuji, about Guo Jing, Huang rong.. blah blah.. Then i just happened to think about a show revolving around the (fictional) wugong-xiang long shi ba zhang.. It was a skill that belonged to the beggar's sect in the wuxia fantasy world. Then I was talking about this show i watched where this guy was learning it to defeat an evil person who was trying to usurp the throne, but somehow, the 18th(and final) stroke was missing.. THe story goes on where he went into the fight knowing only up till the 17th stroke, then as he was defeated in the first round, the manual dropped on the ground. As the wind blew the pages, he realised that the 18th stroke was the combination of all the previous 17 strokes.. So I was talking happily about it to Isaac and JunJie when I reached the 17th stroke part..I was talking, talking, then I just said 17th stroke(shi qi zhang...) Then a shout came from the front,"CLEMENT!" haha! that was my math teacher.. Then my frens say, "haha.. lian le shi qi zhang zou huo ru mo le...." It was rather ticklish.. Maybe not as ticklish as I can portray it now in proper english, but if you can, perhaps i'll tell you in person one day.. it was soooo damn funny.. haha....

Well, exactly 7 weeks from the "O"s... gotta study hard.. haha.. back to my work now..

No more homework!!! Pleeeeeeaseeeeee!!!!

2004-09-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Feeling:Irritable, Unhappy.

My math teacher is just relentless, giving homework after homework.. ok.. thats not wat i am unhappy with. The part I'm unhappy with is that she gives so much that i barely have any time for my other subjects!!..

My math teacher has conveniently made two assumptions:
1)math is the only subject that is taken into account for GCE "O"-Levels and therefore getting an a1 for it is imperative and even if you have an a1, you should try for higher despite the fact that your other subjects are flogging.

2)Math homework should be given in excess, even in the expense of the student's sleep time, because its good for the student.

(what a joke....)

I totally abhor her because every single bit she's doing as revision for me(besides giving practice papers) will not be effective. Besides, I've got a pile of my own practice papers... As for the rest? No thank you...

Thank God, though, for a good week of rest. I must admit I did squander the time playing, but I think thats what I needed. Yep. I do hope that God will hold me together for the remaining 50 days. Yep, another 50 days to the "O"-Levels... I wish i can just add another 30 days to that.. Then i can have more time to complete a fuller revision. I guess I'll just have to make do. Thank God though, that I managed to recover from my burnout. It was very minor at the start of this year, but as the year progressed, it became worse. Still, thank God for it.

Oh yeah, to all those out there taking prelims now (esp to my frens from BPGH.. I noe your prelims are on now).. Jia you!! Mine is next week though.. a little more relaxed.. and just enough time for me to get onto my feet.

Lost my bearings...

2004-09-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

Feeling: down, unhappy, irritable.
Listening to: cleft of dimension(the song playing on this page)

Today is sunday.. the Lord's day.. The worst part is that there isn't BS, so i wasn't inclined to wake up early just to go first service and so that i can go for the BS after that... I just hate waking up late!! The worst part is that in second service, the younger ppl who attend normally are people who sleep through messages.. The sight of them not concentrating or listening to the message makes my thoughts wander too.. Not their fault, but after I started attending first service, second service seems just such a pain to me..

I ask myself, am I doing the best I can? My friend Sherman shocked me totally when he finally became honest. He started talking in a humanistic way, like someone influenced by humanism.. The way he talked was as though he had discarded the Christian truths our school (Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary) had implanted in us since young. I suppose this is one of the frightening effects of not having godly families, of not going to church regularly, of not doing regular QT. But being his good friend, it totally pained me to see how much we had distanced, but much more, seeing him walking on the broad way. "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be to find it." Matt 7:13

On the whole, its only 51 days left till the 'O' levels. And I haven't begun a serious revision yet. I've started counting down since 70 days. But I've apparently wasted 20 days. plus the holidays. I've totally lost my bearings and burnt out.. Its a dangerous time for this to happen, and this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I need God. I need to get right first with God. Yet I need to start an intensive revision immediately. Too much. too much in such a short time. I sometimes wish I just have another month added to the 50 days. I sometimes wish I just didn't wait this one year. Maybe i just wish I have a good friend, or even a girlfriend to help me up in such a time.. Nah.. Won't come true.

It disappoints me that sometimes, even in church... Especially in church(rarely happens in school) we have people who are status watchers. They only talk to or mix with people who come from rich backgrounds, who have influential parents, who are chio/handsome, who come from good schools... Sometimes that disappoints me.. that even Christians fail to display brotherly love. That many a fallen and downed brother are left fallen, broken, so much so that some even leave the faith. Christian love should be in every way unconditional, and should be displayed to the fullest even regardless of whether the person is loveable or not. Especially when the person is not loveable.

Perhaps only I am going around, talking to the people who do not have anyone to talk to.. But thats because I myself, have no one to talk to..I seek friendship, but sometimes, its either I can't be enough of a friend to someone, or that someone can't be enough of a friend to me..I seek relationship, but sometimes I wonder if it is really so as to replace that friendship...

Someday, if I become rich, I'll make sure I give extra attention to those who are not loved. I'll make sure I ignore the popularity those status watchers give me. My heart goes out to those who are, like me, not loveable, and who are thus ignored by most people, especially status watchers. I HATE status watchers. They just make the unloved feel even more unloved and lonely.

Cleaned up the glitches

2004-09-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

Mood:Happy on the whole
Listening to:Cleft of Dimension(The music thats playing on the blog)

Well, i spent an hour or so cleaning up the glitches on the blog, and I'm quite happy the blog is ready to be declared open.. haha...

Well, if there is anything on my blog that you don't like or is an error, do tell me in the comments below.. constructive criticism is welcome, destructive criticism is not. I'm sure you won't want such on your own blog right? so do unto others what you want others to do unto u... :)

Well, back to today.. I just watched Gundam Seed (ep 20) on Central.. Its such a pain waiting for each saturday JUST to watch half an hour (one episode)... not to mention there are 50 episodes.. Thankfully HSDS is 4 hours a weekend.. However, you still have to wait 5 days for it.. Painful wait so I just got the DVD.. haha...

I started Liking Gundam seed after watching episode 7 quite by accident. It just links to my childhood dream of being a pilot.. I have dreamt of piloting since young. Combat piloting. However, I'm wearing glasses, so what the heck.. Hopefully I still can do some Lasik, or have a Cornea Implant to correct my eyesight and I can still stand a chance to be a pilot. Somehow, Gundam seed reminded me of that dream.. Just that their counterpart for the F-16s, F-22s or whatnot are Gundams... haha..

Today is YF quiz, and I still havent memorised all the memory verses.. Sighs.. I do hope the rest actually do their work.. Cuz I'm probably going to know only 50% of the stuff.. Sighs.. feeling guilty..

Well, Germ is right. Love life stinks when you are still a juvenile.. I guess I'm just going to avoid love life all the way. Although I have liked one single person for three years or so. I guess there are more things in life to pursue, and I should leave the finding of a life partner to God. Besides, now is definitely too early, whether to find one, to understand the essence of true love, or to even understand the elements involved in a Christian or Christ-headed relationship.. Where in the relationship, Christ is head, and still is when the relationship develops into a home. To find a god-fearing girl who suits me is a really hard feat. I guess I'll just leave it to God...

YAYx... Done 90% of my blog!!

2004-09-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

Mood:Estatic

Yayx.. done up mosta my blog.. but not without lotsa help from my best fren Germ(Jeremy..).. Yeah.. wanna see his blog? its *boom* wow.. nice.. i copied some things from his blog's source code (oops..)though.. But i really am thankful for his help in helping me set up the music of the site... yeah? isn that what you are hearing? Yeah!!.. that's fragments of dreams, from the game "chrono cross"...

I also added a few links, like the blogs of some of u guys.. hey, if you want me to add your blog into my links, do tell me, either thro e-mail or by commenting below (u see at the end of this entry? there's a "...(number) comments" there.. click it and you can add comments.. oh yes, for those who's blogs are on my links, and you don't want them there? yeah.. do the same and I will gladly remove it :)

my FIRST entry!!... haha!!

2004-09-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

Heyoz... this is my first entry.. thanks to Germ who helped me find a feasible skin.. Well, i havent had much time to work on the blog yet.. but I'll probably improve it as time goes by...

Well, been rather lurvsick recently.. cuz i watched HSDS(heavenly sword and dragon sabre or yi tian tu long ji) and its one of my fav out of Jing Yong's works (he writes pretty good wuxia novels, and adds very good love stories in the plots..)

Well, that was not all.. Alyssa chia took the role of Zhao Min (the person who seemed to be the antagonist at first, but ends up being with Zhang Wuji.. ).. she played the role of zhao min impeccably, but most of all, what makes her the most loveable zhao min out of the four (or so) adaptations made from the book is that she's sooooo cuuuuuuuuttteeee..... (i shan't associate myself with girls by adding that word to my dictionary..)

Well, she kinda made me think of *her*... well.. i guess u all know what i'm talking about.. at times i dream where the two of *us*(me n the girl of my dreams) can embrace, can be together.. but through all this 'lurvsickness', i have realised that God has a higher plan and purpose, and that i should trust in God and his Predestinative will to decide the girl of my future... At times i lose bearings and just go desperate, wishing for a girlfriend, but i call all those out there suffering from the same thing as I am, don't give up hope... Leave everything to God in prayer!

WEll, i guess i can go on and babble on about my experience, and this new insight i have gained thro this trial(thanks to the ppl who stood by me, Lionel, Zuyi, Des...).. but i dun suppose anyone would appreciate.. would they?

p.s. see pic.. Alyssa's so cute, dun u think? I saw her galleries, some pics revealing so much skin.. but I think she looks so much better fully clothed.. like this.. heee..

<:+REveRSe HAveN+:>

won't be posting pics for awhile...

S.H.I.T.

Siannxx!!

debate.....

tiredddd...

haa..

tireddszzz...

worry...

unhappy :(.... someone hug me pls......

HAHAXX

Haaaxxx!!

WHAT?! no 3rd selection for shooting?!

whoa.. shooting... whoa...

cooled down.. Just a little. but still pissed

In a foul mood.....

humph.

Ngee Ann Poly

HOOO!!

groggy......

SHIT!!

blegh. disappointed...

I'llShowUIStillHvFightLeftInME!

kanojo ga suki da yo. demo ima kanojo shitanda

I HATE MYSELF.....

Booorrreedd...

*whew*... after a tiring day

stupid parental controls!

orientation camp over....

hmmm..

First day of sch in JJ

Haarrrghhh.. tml skool...

hmm..

YAYY.. year end post!!

YAY! music is really up~!

heee. baackkk!

wheee.. greetings from korea....

haa!!

Haa.. new blog layout..!!

hallo

heee.. Back from camp

disappointed.. bordering on hate

haaaaaaa.....

haha... to sum this week up

Haa!!!

haha... to sum this week up

damn...

grad nite.. woohoo

I wish to forget

BIRTHDAY!!.. heee...

~Alone~ still fighting alone.... {Disappointed... bordering on hate}

O levels finally over!

Chem.. die liaox

Urban JUNGLE!!!

going crazy....

e-maths... a slew of emotions...

sad...

Sigh/.... A-math die liao...

woot... e-math so easy.. but p1 only..

ENG paper over!! heee..

WHEEE!! SWISS AND JAP CAME OUT!!!

SS paper tml...

sighs.. feeling down./...

phy prac....

phy prac tml...

sigh....memories.. I HATE memories...

Chem O lvl practical...

I WAN GO ICE SKATE!!!!!!

Reformat... for like, the seventh time./...

Yay! got my tag!

Sighs... lonely.. sian...

CD-R drive up!!

Nahhh...

CONDITION 'BLUE'

dang! my CDkey got stolen...

counterstrike

YAYXXXX!! New com!!!

farewell.. to my flute...

...Sian day agian...s-l-e-e-p-i-n-g... zzzZZZzzz

Phy paper...Sian day...

whew... after a tiring day

yawnz